RECAP: INSECURE EP 4 "THIRSTY AS FUCK"

Got my Talenti ice cream or gelato whatever you call this fancy scrumptious stuff. Ready for my favorite night of the week. I'm caught up on Dragonball Super so I got time for y'all sweet and sour chicken asses tonight. Okay here we go. My random thoughts on Insecure Ep 4 "Thirsty As Fuck." 

NIGGAS SKIN BURN TOO 

Well fellas. They got the beginning right this week. We ALL can relate to that shower scene. Every shower I've shared with a woman in my life the water was on INFERNO or on curling iron in the projects hot. Women have the shower water hotter than the breath on a crackhead wearing propane drawls in hell. Stop melting my melanin baby. I'M FED UP AND I'M BURNING! 

Another week. More hashtags.  #OurSkinMatters #WeWantOurFoodHotNotOurWater #LukewarmShowerLove #HellisHotBaeShowerHotter 

COMMUNITY COUCH 

Nobody took that couch. They might as well turn that couch into a "Wire" couch. Just turn it into a community couch like season 1 of "The Wire." 

Funny scene while shopping for a new couch to replace the lawn chair in their living room. Only sophomores who finally move into off campus apartments have lawn chairs for furniture. Anyway before I get sidetracked the scene was funny because Frank in the furniture store was sick of his wife's shit. 

He deadass told his wife "I hate you." That's marriage ladies and gentlemen. If you don't hate each other you don't love each other. Twisted but possibly true. 

YOU DON'T LIKE NO DAMN JODECI 

Jodeci is my all time favorite R&B group ever. I know if a nigga listens to and likes Jodeci when I see one and this nigga Molly was on a date with know damn well Jodeci not in his top 5. You not fooling me bruh. Caine from Menace II Society type niggas like Jodeci not niggas that look like they have shirtless mirror profile pics like this dude Molly was on a date with. 

Color Me Badd really was his speed. He was correct. Ol New Kids On The Block head ass boy.

If anyone would like me to sing the whole "Forever My Lady" album to it's entirety at their wedding or parties I'm about to put my booking info and a plane emoji in my twitter bio like a Instagram model who sells tea so you can book me. It's 2 things I know by heart. It's the movie "Friday" and "Forever My Lady" by Jodeci. 

Molly on this date tries to keep tabs on this man which is a huge red flag. It makes her look clingy and thirsty as the title of the episode suggests. She expects this dude to check in with her after a couple of dates and that just screams crazy. He dropped Molly faster than an elective class.

Actually god was looking out for Molly. Any man that listens to Color Me Badd is mentally unstable and probably slash women's tires when he's mad. Molly dodged a bullet. 

POOR RASHEEDA 

This Rasheeda doesn't sound like Shawty Lo like K.Michelle once told us on "Love and Hip Hop." This Rasheeda is loud as fuck at all times but I fucks with her cause she's herself. She doesn't know the meaning of "Turn Down." 

Molly McShade walks by in all white cause she was feeling godly that day and has a look of disgust on her face at Rasheeda as if Rasheeda ate the last of the leftover banana pudding. 

Damn Molly fine ass looked fire in that all white though. Lord Jeebus. 

Molly and Rasheeda's boss asks Molly to speak to Rasheeda about toning it down and not to act ghetto because she making the company look bad. She didn't say that but you know that's what that white woman wanted to say. 

She wanted Molly to do her dirty work so she doesn't come off as racist to Rasheeda so she asks the lone black woman in the office to talk to her. Shit like this happens all the time in the workplace to black folks. 

Molly refuses to do so and suggests her boss should do it since she's their superior and Molly already tried to have that talk in episode 3 so another conversation would be pointless. We see Rasheeda talking to the heads of the firm and it doesn't look good for her. I hope she wasn't fired over it. 

PULL UP AND POP UP

This nigga Daniel stroll up in "We Got Yall" headquarters on some goofy stalker shit. First this nigga has a mohawk. That's the first red flag. 

Second this nigga has the nerve to show up to Issa job with no sleeves. Nigga where yo sleeves? Issa why are you smiling? He has no sleeves. Only niggas who drink bud light ice tall cans and trailer park niggas walk around proudly with no sleeves. At least look presentable if you're going to stalk somebody. 

Of course Issa thinks her achilles dick looks good and she's back at square one. Smiling like a school girl and shit. My homie Lawrence can't catch a break. 

ANOTHER LEAGUE GUY 

The start of this scene I had to rewind because the band in the background was playing some smooth vintage Tony Toni Tone sounding shit. Tunes were so smooth it almost made me call my ex and start talking to her in a voice like that deep voiced nigga from Boyz II Men. 

Molly is on a date with Jidenna (Another league guy). No Jidenna slander from me, no sir. Jidenna made "Long Live The Chief" got dammit. The respek is on his name and will remain. I'll never slander that nigga for that song. It's my shit. 

Molly and him seem to have a bond on this date because they're in the same career field and go through similar work drama. The date is going well because of this but you can't help but think that something will go wrong in the future. Well at least I hope so. My nigga Jared still in rental sad as fuck probably and I want him to win. 

They slow dance to a cover of The Internet "Girl" no disrespect to the band covering it but it would've been dope if The Internet made a cameo on this scene. 

TASHA MY BABY MOMMA 

MY FUCKING PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED! TASHA AND THEM TITTIES HAVE RETURNED! I seen my baby momma Tasha and I was like ..... 

She got booty too. Tasha thick and keep hot sauce in her bag. Make a nigga wanna sing to her like "See first of all I know these so called playas wouldn't tell you this but I'm a be real and say whats on my hearrrrrrrrrrt" in my Jagged Edge singing voice. She a bad one. 

She runs into Lawrence on her lunch break and she's Lawrence isn't feeling his new temporary job. Lawrence finds out that they don't care about his field of expertise. They just need bodies on the sales floor for anything. 

Lawrence tells her about his plan to create an app that fell through and Tasha encourages him to pursue it and work on it again. Like I said before, Lawrence isn't hearing this from Issa and it doesn't help the relationship that Tasha's titties are on god levels while giving him words of encouragement. 

Tasha is the complete opposite of Issa. She's more outgoing. Speaks her mind at the moment. Not too focused on herself. Even though she fine as fuck she is NOT Lawrence type. Lawrence wouldn't last a month with that woman. Issa let that nigga not do shit for her birthday. You think a woman like Tasha letting that slide? Hell no. I can't wait to see where this goes cause it's clear that Tasha wants Lawrence. 

CAREER DAY 

It's career day with Isaa's middle school kids and Frieda suggests Issa reach out to Daniel since one of the speakers about art dropped out. Issa pretends like she doesn't want to but we all know she wants to and she reaches out to Daniel.

Daniel is a producer so he plays beats for the kids and manages to tell the kids that Issa can rap and that she rapped at a open mic recently. The kids are excited because they only see one side of Issa not her personal life.

The career day is a success and Daniel leaves but you know it wouldn't be an Insecure episode if Issa is not in front of a mirror. Mirror Daniel from her imagination appears shirtless accompanied by Ty Dolla Sign. Shit was so fucking random. I was crying laughing at how random that cameo was.

Molly comes in the bathroom and keeps it real with Issa. I actually liked Molly in this episode not only because of that dress. Good gawd she was RIGHT in that dress but she was tolerable and she was actually dropping some gems. I actually sympathized and agreed with Molly in this episode.

Issa I actually wasn't feeling this episode. I felt she should've told Lawrence about recruiting her ex for career day. That's something you tell your partner regardless if you think they will trip or not. Communication is so key to relationships. If Lawrence finds out about career day he has every right to be upset. 

We soon see why the internet is undefeated when the kids find a youtube video of Issa rapping "Broken Pussy" thanks to Mr. No Sleeves big ass mouth. Ex's really do ruin your life. Keep your distance and avoid them like the police. Now Issa is in danger of losing her job. 

So far Insecure is shooting 4 for 4 from the field. I love it. See y'all next week.  

Love, Benny available now