THERE'S EXCITEMENT & THERE'S SUICIDE SQUAD

I've waited for this day for almost 2 years. After watching the average but not bad "Man Of Steel." Decent debut for DC. After sitting through the two and a half hour shit show that is Batman Vs Superman. After actually taking some of you dumb motherfuckers advice on watching the ultimate edition of Batman Vs Superman since you said it was better. Instead of sitting through 2 and a half hours of horse shit. I sat through a little over 3 hours of horse shit. If it's not The Godfather Part 2 I'm not sitting through 3 hours of shit ever again. Oh, and fuck you guys advice for eternity. It's shit. I finally saw Suicide Squad this evening. I've never been so fucking sad in my fucking life. 

Is it better than Batman vs Superman? Yes, but guess what? Watching Ben Stein teach quadratic equations is better than Batman Vs Superman and Margot Robbie is a woman I'd impregnate in a heartbeat so with her being in the movie that makes it better before I even saw it. This movie let me the fuck down in a major fucking way. I don't even know where to begin.

The movie starts off fast. I'm thinking "Okay, this is good. Let's get the backstories out the way and get to the action. It lasted for about 20 minutes and then the movie just falls apart after this. Acting wise Viola Davis did an amazing job. Everyone else. No. 

Will Smith is just Will Smith and that's the annoying part about it all. This was a role that he needed to really step outside of the usual shit he does. He was basically Mike Lowry from Bad Boys with a sniper rifle in this movie. He did have a moment where he took out Enchantress soldiers by himself and I thought maybe the movie could pick up after that amazing sequence but nope it didn't. Captain Boomerang was basically pointless and just existed. Killer Croc was basically the same. Diablo was fucking boring. Enchantress. BORING! Fuck all that let's get to what yall really wanna hear. The Joker and Harley Quinn. 

Let's start with The Joker. THEY FINESSED THE FUCK OUTTA ME! He's all over the promo. All over the trailers. The build up for him has been insane over the past year. Everyone was excited to see how Leto measured up to the late great Ledger. He was just okay. The reason he's just okay is because he was barely in the fucking movie. He didn't have enough screen time to even make his presence felt. It just feels that he was forced into the plot. He just made cameos like Batman did. Within his first minute on screen I knew he wasn't better than Heath and that's okay. Leto's Joker didn't creep me out at all. It's not a big deal. Leto is a great actor. I just wanted him to still kill the role. Well he didn't have a chance to. It's nowhere near my biggest disappointment though. 

Harley Quinn is my favorite female comic book character. I don't give a shit about Wonder Woman. I have no favorite female superhero. I only love Harley Quinn. I'll name my future daughter Harley Quinn. Margot had a couple cute lines here and there but overall she just didn't do it for me. The accent was too much at times and she didn't come off as psycho to me she came off as a blonde airhead instead. You want to know the biggest travesty? Not once did Harley have a machine gun in her hand. She didn't wear the red and black clown jumpsuit. I literally wanted to fucking cry in the theater. I just wanted to yell at the movie screen like that girl did to Charles Barkley after she blocked his shot in "Space Jam." "You not Harley Quinn." "You just a wannabe that looks like her." "Be Gone!" This was the dagger in the heart for me. 

I wanted this to be a fun film but it ended up so boring. I even dozed off twice. After about an hour I knew this shit was a dud. I wanted to walk out the theater so bad but I was holding on to hope. Well kids. Fuck hope. I should've left. Instead I got ketchup on one of my favorite shirts. That was karma for me not walking the fuck out like I should've. 

I wanted them to save the day their way. I wanted them running around wild but there were too many boundaries placed on them. This was supposed to be anti-cliche and it wasn't. I wanted lunatics. This was supposed to be fun and I wasn't having fun. The hype didn't match the final product AT ALL! This was the movie I thought could turn the DC live film universe around and it failed to do so. I'm officially not looking forward to any future releases from D.C. Especially if I see Zack Snyder's name anywhere on them which pretty much everyone of them. So that means I'm screwed. 

I would write more about this movie but guess what I don't remember the shit. It's so boring and forgettable. The main Villain was fucking terrible. No, really. Enchantress and her brother were really terrible. Completely forgettable. This movie seemed so rushed and had no motivation. THIS MOVIE TOOK NO RISKS! A movie with villains and no risks is just fucking baffling to me. They're supposed to be different from the good guys. 

I award this movie no fruit snacks. Do not buy this on blu-ray. Just redbox it and buy a box of kleenex if you're a fellow geek like me because you're basically about to watch a 2 hour funeral and cry.