THE "HEAD ASS" LIST
I'm a St.Louis nigga so I've been saying getcho "fill in the blank" head ass since I was in my momma's womb. I think St.Louis invented "head ass." It's not up for debate. Go debate yo auntie who always brings coleslaw to the BBQ. I love saying head ass to insult people I love or dislike. If a woman tells me "Look at cho black gerber baby head ass" I'll fall in love instantly.
I predict "head ass" will be played and worn out in about a couple months because it's being said by everyone these days so the clock is ticking. In 2 months we'll see the devil Hilary Clinton say "Head Ass" on The Ellen Show while trying to dance to "JuJu On That Beat" to win black votes and it will be all over for our beloved go to insult forever.
So before Doomsday happens I want to give you all a list of Head asses to avoid and never be in life.
"GOALS" HEAD ASS
Nothing wrong with having goals. Shooting for them make life have even more purpose. Just don't be that person that makes every fucking thing a goal.
Example 1: OMG look at how that couple just breathes together!!! #BaeGoals
Example 2: No one knows about their relationship. They stay to themselves! *Heart Eyes Emoji* #Goals
How in the fuck did a couple minding their fucking business become a goal? So are you implying that every person you've dated announces every move y'all make and is not private? Minding your business not difficult. Just drink some water with a lemon slice in it and mind your fucking business. Goals are something you work for. The things grown people make goals today aren't even goals. What's even funnier the goals they claim they have they don't even work towards they just say that shit to sound cool.
"WELL ACTUALLY" HEAD ASS
I'll let one "Well Actually" slide and it's if the information I received is a flat out lie and you let me know it's a lie. Spreading misinformation has to be stopped but constant spell checks and shit I'm not letting slide. Get yo I before E except after C head ass on somewhere. I misspell a lot of shit. Sometimes on purpose. Sometimes because I was typing too fast but if you get what the fuck I was trying to say then shut the fuck up and accept it. "Well actually" head ass muhfuckas don't even enjoy social media they just lurk like Sting from the rafters on WCW Nitro just waiting to drop in where they're not wanted to hit you with their "Well Actually" bullshit and they even use "Well actually" on opinions now! On fucking opinions! It's my opinion you little bitch. Fuck off. Eat a root beer popsicle, that's how much I don't fucking like you.
"ALWAYS COMPARING" HEAD ASS
Constantly comparing things is very annoying. Let's start with ourselves. Comparing yourself to anyone else is poisonous. You're killing your spirit slowly. Your journey is yours. Their journey is theirs. Nothing is the same in terms of journey's. It may take them longer to reach where they're going. It may take you a shorter time or vice versa but in the end it's not exact. Don't be a comparing head ass muhfucka when it comes to your life and someone else's. You are you. Worry about what you have to do to improve in all aspects in your life and what makes you smile.
Outside of ourselves we compare everything. Movies, Music, Sports, etc. Nothing can just be great without a comparison. I can say a new album by a certain artist is really dope and some asshole will say "Such and such album is killing it though." I didn't say it was better or worse than anything I just said it's a dope album. Can we just talk about the fucking album? Why bring another artist into the conversation? A athlete has a great season it has to be compared to another athletes accomplishments before theirs. It's silly.
"LOOK AT ME! I'M ON A DIET" HEAD ASS
No disrespect to those who are on weight loss journey's and are not annoying when doing so. They just shut the fuck up, go to the gym, eat right, take a picture of their journey and results here and there and that's it. The people that annoy me is the ones constantly announcing that they're in the gym daily. Mirror pics on top of mirror pics and they not losing any pounds just gaining weight. Only workout you getting is finding the right filter for a picture of deception.
I'm on a journey to be vegetarian. It's tough. I love Popeyes. The fuck you want me to do? Not eat the gift from the heavens? God put Popeye's here for me and you. I just don't like those passive aggressive head ass bitches who try to bring up their diet and throw it in your face while you having fun eating unhealthy. Hell yeah this pizza is bad for me. Does your bitch want some? Go eat your head of lettuce with a dab of vinaigrette on it and continue to be sad. People on diets who try to force their diet on other people aren't happy. They're lonely cause no one is suffering with them and they want a piece of your burger. How hard is it to just eat what you want and worry about yourself?
We get it. You're healthier than all of us. You more boring than all of us though. I rather be unhealthy as fuck than boring as fuck. People who eat healthy and rub it in your face have the personality of a 1994 Dodge Neon. Fuck those people.
"I'M GRINDING WHILE YOU SLEEP" HEAD ASS
Then why in the fuck do my broke ass have more money than you if that's the case? So not only are you broke but you not getting any sleep either? You double sad bruh. I'm broke but I sleep like a fucking baby. Drool all on my pillow cases, giggling in my sleep and everything. I'll be damned if I'm a be broke and sleep deprived. I'm a have one or the other.
These head ass muhfuckas the funniest. Ol I'm not watching empire cause I'm building a empire head ass. No you're not. Spamming me your mixtape links on twitter in 2016 let's me know that your empire is never going to get built. I only listen to people who talk about grinding that actually do what they love for a living and get paid what they want for doing so.
Ol I'm not playing NBA 2K17 cause I'm trying to be rich by 2K17 head ass. The results are in. In 2K17 you're still going to be broke. A broke head ass boy.
THE "FUN POLICE" HEAD ASS
Ol License and registration head ass. Ol you have the right to remain silent head ass. Ol RIGGS!!! RIGGS!!!! Danny Glover screaming on Lethal Weapon head ass. Ol eaaaooouunnhhh police siren head ass. You can never have any fun around these people they just come around to suck the fun out of everything. Reminds me of those old flabby and sick white people who always have a stick up their ass on Fox News.
I can say "I'm going to a Beyonce concert" and some jabroni will reply sarcastically "Men go to Beyonce concerts?" YES BITCH! I'M ONE OF EM AND I'LL BEAT YO ASS! TELL YOUR GIRL SHE INVITED TO COME WITH ME! SHE WANNA BE WITH A REAL NIGGA LIKE ME ANYWAY! Jabroni's like that always hating on a good time and have no friends.
"I NEED A BAE OR I HAVE A BAE HEAD ASS"
We get it you're lonely. You're desperate. Niggas ain't shit. Ike and Tina Relationship is #BaeGoals for you at this point. Maybe this is just me but when I see women like this it makes them unattractive to me because it feels like they have no sense of confidence at all and they seem needy as fuck. Borderline psycho. Just a cry out for attention so their DM's can get flooded.
Then we have the I have a bae head ass. No one asked you. No one cares. I can ask a woman what time it is and she'll say some shit like "It's 1:13 and my boyfriend/hubby is on his way." I didn't ask you that mam. Nor do I care. They're super unhappy and bored as fuck in their relationship they flaunt too. Don't be fooled. It's all for the internet.
"HIP-HOP IS DEAD" HEAD ASS
Hip Hop sucks today. It's mumble rap. What the fuck does that have to do with you? If you don't like it, don't listen. How is it that I can avoid what I don't want to listen to but you can't? Be in your own world. I just turn on my ipod and escape. I've never played the radio in my new car not once and never will. There are so many talented artists out there but you ignore them because you're so focused on this campaign of complaints about a rapper mumbling on the radio. Turn the fucking radio off and show love to the artists music you love.
The game we once knew is gone. It's over. It's not coming back and won't be recreated. Leave these kids alone and let them jam to what they want to jam to. They don't wanna listen to Raekwon bro. Enyce is gone. It's their era so let them enjoy it how they want to. No one is playing "The Blast" by Talib Kweli and Hi-Tek in the party bruh. There's a time and place for everything. Shut the fuck up and Play "OOOUU" so these beautiful women can dance.
"ALL LIVES MATTER" HEAD ASS
A simple "Fuck You" will suffice. =)
