25 THINGS I'M THANKFUL FOR

Aye it's almost Thanksgiving. I don't give a fuck about Thanksgiving. I'm a hotep ass nigga but it's always good to be thankful so here's a list of some things I'm thankful for. I think it's 25 I dunno I be miscounting shit. 

I'm thankful for keeping bare minimum bitches to a bare minimum in my life. 

I'm thankful for the thoughtful and awe-inspiring nudes in my phone. The Titty meat in there would make God sin.

 
I'm thankful for being the most valuable and indispensable real nigga for the human race. My presence plays an essential role of the betterment of society. 

I'm thankful for black women. You are life's pink starbursts. I will continue to lie to you in relationships in the future because I'm not shit but that doesn't change the fact you're scrumpdiddlyumptious and it's always an absolute honor to bite all of your booties under a beautiful night sky freckled with stars. 

I'm thankful for baked macaroni. If I had to choose between ending racism and giving up baked macaroni forever...... spoiler alert........ we're still protesting. 

I'm thankful for being the most prolific writer since Edgar Allan Poe but way more wavier, gorgeous, radiant, tastefully fine, and I have more sauce that's unparalleled. From now on I will write all my articles with a calligraphy pen from the year 1673. 

I'm thankful for hoes. Aren't they so delightful and precious? Never a dull moment.

I'm thankful for 80's R&B. There's nothing better than listening to Sade and Anita Baker while the most captivating, elegant, ratchet woman plays in my hair, rubs on my chest, and continuously tells me how hungry she is. 

I'm thankful for Bria Myles. I'm willing to sign up for that 18 year installment plan aka I'm wearing the required Burberry shirt to our baby shower.

I'm thankful for anime. It just makes everything better. What the fuck would life be without it? Fucking pointless. 

I'm thankful for corny niggas. I couldn't fuck y'all girlfriends and wives and get them to buy me bape without y'all. 

I'm thankful for St.Louis artists, creatives, whatever you wanna call yourselves. No one compares to any of you. 

I'm thankful for rotel. If a negro spiritual could take the form of food it would take the form of rotel. 

I'm thankful for this $17.86 currently in my bank account that I will use to still get high and drunk as fuck tonight as if I had $300 because my God is good, willing, and able.

I'm thankful for Pinterest. I'm able to ignore all my responsibilities, look at recipes I'll never cook cause popeyes right up the street, and ignore all humans with no problem because of it. 

I'm thankful for the video game Streets Of Rage. It taught me about teamwork. 

I'm thankful for every friend zone I've ever been in. I've successfully succeeded in escaping from all of them like a Dragonite escaping a regular poke ball and still giving those lovely women the privilege to get a taste of me aka the most electrifying man walking god's green earth. To those beautiful women I say...... You're Welcome. 

I'm thankful for tacos. They're the light of my life and center of my joy. I can never be mad because they exist. 

I'm thankful for black jelly beans. I'm the only nigga on the planet that eats them. 

I'm thankful for youtube for making cable obsolete. Youtube time is important for my chi. 

I'm thankful for Hey Arnold it's the reason I'm optimistic and a critical thinker. 

I'm thankful for not being a fake good/positive vibes only kinda nigga. Sometimes I’m negative cause I’m human and I’m not afraid to admit that. I’m actually real, I love thighs, and I love cognac. 

I'm thankful for every black woman I'm privileged to see wrap their hair or put on a bonnet. Every time a black woman wraps her hair and puts on a bonnet a puppy is rescued and adopted…….plus when the hair is protected the pussy is on Ultra Instinct Levels. 

I’m thankful for not being ashamed to love God. I know your favorite rappers like satan, animal sacrifices and shit but God still the wave. 

I’m thankful for my parents. They’re the most patient and supportive people I’ve ever had in my life. It’s because of them that I am able to bless all of you with my legendary and mythical presence. 

Have a good Thursday.