WHY BLACK WOMEN ARE MAGICAL

You’re the realest. The most beautiful. The most gangsta. Nobody moves like you. It’s a privilege for me to be in your presence. A privilege to hear you speak and learn form you. When I receive your love in any capacity I’m thankful. Whenever you’re upset with me I regret it immediately and I rush to fix the situation with you faster than I would with anyone else. You’re the most inspirational humans on this planet. 

The greatest creation god has blessed this world with. 

I luh you like I luh watching Menace II Society while getting coconut oil rubbed into my hair. Having a soothing scalp while watching Caine pull up to the park in the 5.0 for the bbq is very relaxing. 

You’re all my queens. Thank you black women. 

Why black women are magical. 

NEVER GET OLD 

With all the shit black women put up with you think they would age faster than anyone. That’s not the case. How in the fuck does a 60 year old black woman look like a snack? Simple. They’re the chosen ones. They don’t age like bananas. They age like the top shelf fine wine I can’t pronounce. They can’t be duplicated and they're irreplaceable. 

THEY WANNA BE YOU

Every woman wants to be a black woman. They watch them. Study them. Wish they had their attitude. Wish they had their confidence. Wish they had their hair. Wish they had their style. Outside of black women all I see is clones. Just look at Hollywood. 

CREATIVITY 

The most creative people I’ve ever encountered have been black women. When I feel like I’m stuck in a creative rut a black woman has always came to my rescue. They see things in a way I can’t. It’s really hard for me to explain why. They have a reputation of overthinking but when it comes to creativity they’re the best at taking simplicity and overthinking and making it work in perfect harmony. It’s so remarkable. 

REFUNDS

If I don’t want shit I just bought and I want my money back. I’m giving the item to a black woman so I can get my money back guaranteed. If I go up to best buy to return some shit without a receipt I ain’t getting shit back. If I send a black woman to do it she'll get my shit back along with a $50 gift card, a flatscreen tv, and some best buy rewards points. 

If I ain’t paid my phone bill and they cut my phone off. Better believe a black woman will face time me in 10 minutes informing me  she just spoke to phone people and my phone cut back on and I better pay my damn bill next time. 

 

RESILIENCE 

I could be a scumbag and wipe a black woman’s bank account out, fuck up her car and emotionally break her and she will pull up a month later in a new droptop outside my house and tell me “I’m still hurt but the wind from driving this droptop has dried my tears you bitch ass nigga and I would beat yo ass right now but I got a hair appointment.” 

Like Malcolm X said they're the most disrespected and unappreciated in the world and yet they still have a glow and smile through all the pain and suffering they've endured. 

Black women bounce back better than ANYBODY. It’s impossible to keep them down they’re built for adversity and always seem to pull through with a solution to the problem. They live to get the last laugh. Just when you think they’re defeated they pull up like “The fuck you thought?!” 

LOVE HARD 

Black women love is in that perfect area between “Nigga I’m not worried I know you you ain’t going nowhere” and “Stalker/Nigga you can’t quit me” 

As men we're always fucking up but guess who still right there putting up with our shit? I see black men bash black women all the time. Black women should low key hate us with all the hate that we give them but they don't. They're the first to defend us in everything. They love us and we don't even deserve it. 

Black women love HARD. The type of love that you don’t have to question. You know she riding with you and for you. All the dumb shit I’ve done in my life and the first person there to tell me how fucking stupid I was but let me know that they’re still there for me and still love me was a black woman. Nobody else.  When you’re blessed to receive a black woman’s love you automatically become a better human. 

BONNETS 

If you’ve been blessed to date a black woman then you will understand this. 

When you’re chilling at home and she has her bonnet on you either bout to get a fire ass meal or some fire ass sex or both. Either way she putting yo ass to sleep. The bonnet is the equivalent of a draw four card in a close game of UNO. It gives black women powers that’s past our knowledge and understanding. 

Black women were already cheat codes without the bonnet but with it they’re superheroes. Superheroes that make fire ass baked macaroni. Icons. 

RAPPING 

I was at a function recently and a black woman pushed me out the way to rap Young Dolph’s “Play Wit Yo Bitch” word for word. Only a black women can do that. 

Long story short….. my dick jumped. 

THE TRUTH 

If I ever want to hear about myself. I go to God first then a black woman second. This isn’t up for debate. If I want to hear something real, a black woman will give me that real shit in a heartbeat with no filter. It’s what a nigga like me need. I live for honesty. There’s no bullshit allowed when dealing with my black queens. 

YOU MADE IT OKAY SHE MADE IT FLY

A black woman can take ANY style and make that shit look fly effortlessly. I’m convinced that black women only wear makeup because it’s fun. It has nothing to do with trying to look better. They don’t even need makeup. They can wear any hairstyle and look amazing. They can take ugly ass clothes and get a pass for wearing them. They have this style shit on lock. 

In the words of my nigga Adrian. Black Women > Breathing.