A POLITE REVIEW: GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL 2

I guess I can make this short or at least try to. 

I had no huge expectations going into GOTG Vol 2. All I was concerned with was should I get 2 baskets of fries and water or should I say fuck it and get the Cherry Icee despite me not fucking with sugar. 

I didn’t get the Icee. No big deal though. Wasn’t sad about it. Plus I ain’t get charged for one of the fries for some reason. God is the plug. Shoutout to the dude who fucked up. Keep fucking up and blessing the people bro. 

The first GOTG I liked. Didn’t think it was on Iron Man 1 level or Avengers 1 level but it was a good watch that kept me entertained. No complaints. It wasn’t a bad film. GOTG is kind of hard to fuck up because the characters are all comedic so that light heartedness mixed with some great action would be hard to fuck up. You would have to honestly try to make a GOTG film bad. 

I don’t mind the light hearted tone of GOTG because 2 of the heroes are a fucking tree and a raccoon. You can’t make that shit serious or take it seriously. Raccoon lives consist of sneaking in dumpsters. No way would I get on here and critique the acting of a raccoon. I really do want a pet baby Groot though and baby Groot alone is probably going to make this movie way more money than the first. 

I was worried that GOTG Vol 2 would be like Avengers 2 which Avengers 2 is decent but it just dragged and it felt it was only made to compliment the first instead of trying to surpass it. 

GOTG Vol 2 is basically the same as the first. The gang are doing missions throughout the universe. Rocket does some dumb shit and the GOTG get into some shit with a race of gold people which allows Star Lord to finally meets his father and finds out more about his past and himself. Star Lord finds out he possesses more power than he realized. The gold queen need to let me hit for the culture. 

The humor in this movie is better than the first. I laughed more than I thought I would. Especially at Drax he stole the show when it came to the comedy. Drax and Mantis comedy chemistry was on point. Star Lord jokes were okay I felt Star Lord’s humor was forced in some spots we could’ve done without. Rocket kinda in a spot or two also but he wasn’t in Star Lord’s territory. Gammora’s robot sister even had jokes and I thought that it wasn’t needed. Not everyone needs to be funny. 

Gammora I just don’t really get. Her chemistry with the team is just off. She’s mad the whole fucking movie and by the time she’s given a joke it’s flat because it felt so out of place. I really didn’t get anything from Gammora being in the movie. She was just “there” if that makes sense. Her sister was more intriguing than her. 

The best performance goes to Yondu by far. From his jokes to his action scenes he was on point every time he was on the screen. First blue person to entertain me since The Smurfs. He was the fucking MVP. 

They added depth to the characters on this one which was interesting to see. A raccoon with some depth instead of being in the depth of a landfill is cool to see. There were some really cool moments with the characters this time around. 

What I didn’t like was the final fight scene. It was underwhelming to me because they were going up against a God and it didn’t feel that way and that God had help which was dumb and it made the final villain seem weak as fuck then the way the God was defeated was just too easy. The build up to the villain reveal was very weak too. Not once did I ask myself “How are they going to defeat this villain?” Plus he was gone for a HUGE chunk of the fight. The first GOTG villain fight was better. 

The movie also took a HUGE dramatic turn that I didn’t see coming and I wouldn’t be surprised if people cried. Not me though. I only cry for titties and ice cream. Not fictional movies. The drama definitely was some sad shit though. 

If you stuck around for the after credit scenes they weren’t really much except for the one with Ayesha (The Fine Ass Gold Woman) and when I saw that scene I yelled out “I FUCKIN KNEW IT!” and the lady next to me was like “OMG he’s crazy.” They changed it around a bit from the comics but I’m excited for Vol 3. That will have a lot of action because of that after credit scene. 

Overall I’d watch this movie again it’s a fun movie and I enjoyed myself I’d give this movie 3 out of 5 fruit snacks. 

Next up is Alien Covenant on May 18th. Ladies with big purses who would like to submit applications to sneak in quesadillas for me for that movie my DM’s are now open.