INSECURE CHANGED MY LIFE

I’m just this poor black man from St.Louis, Missouri. I didn’t see none of this shit coming 2 years ago. 2 years ago I was going through a mid life crisis before my mid life. Creating music had gotten very boring to me and I was like “Damn I might have to get a real fucking job now. One where I eat bagels every morning and I actually have to learn to tie a tie.”

I had no clue what was next for me. So I didn’t force anything I just sat around and did nothing. One night at my homie spot we were getting ready to go out to a show and we were on Pharrell’s “iamOTHER” website because Pharrell is our dad and we started watching Issa’s “Awkward Black Girl” series out the blue. Had no clue who she was. I thought what I saw was interesting and very relatable and then we turned it off and left the crib. Looking back at that moment I see that night as a sign from God and what was to come. Believe me, at that time writing or blogging was nowhere to be found on my mind. All I ever wrote was music and that’s it. 

I was into writing and blogging for about half a year and when “Insecure” came I watched it on the strength that I seen Issa on Pharrell’s website and I liked the show and when I like something I write about it. I rarely have anybody to talk to about shows or music so writing on my blog is basically me talking to myself about it.

I didn’t start recapping each episode to get noticed. I recapped it because I genuinely loved the show. The show was normal as fuck and I’m a normal nigga so I could relate to it a great deal. The show isn’t super flashy, rich or flamboyant. It’s a show about black people going through some real ass shit I can relate to and that’s why I’m so hooked to it.

I’m insecure when it comes to writing. I’ve gotten better over the past year but I’m still afraid to share anything I write because I never feel what I do is good enough. I always gotta give myself these weird ass speeches to boost my confidence and then I release my work to the unforgivable world of the internet.

I believe I wrote the episode 2 recap and this man who I didn’t know retweeted it and said I was funny and I figured he had to be a big deal because his account was verified but I was grateful for the love and just went on with my business. I find out he was the show runner for Insecure and has a good resume in Hollywood. It was Prentice Penny who did that. This guy changed everything for me and I am forever grateful. 

Once he mentioned the recaps then Yvonne Orji started retweeting my recaps and praising me for my writing and it’s because of those two that I really feel I can go far with writing. I never thought I was funny I was just being myself. Once Issa Rae started commenting on my writing and retweeting my recaps I was like “My nigga you might have the juice. Just maybe.” 

That is why you saw me recapping “Upscale with Prentice” this past spring. I feel like I owe him a lot because he didn’t have to mention my work at all. I was honestly shocked that he did. I see so many of my talented friends never get props from people in higher positions so I never expect anything from anyone but when Prentice continuously showed love it changed my view on black people supporting their own. Once he asked me to recap every episode that’s when I truly had a gift and that this is the reason why I’m here on earth. This is my gift that I can help people with and share with people. 

I have fans now which still weirds me out a little. I have fans overseas, across the country, and in my backyard all because of Insecure. I get tons of emails from fans of my writing and I didn’t see none of this coming at all. This show gave me the confidence to write my own television show and it will happen in the future. I’m that confident. 

So when you see me going hard for this show and doing so much for it, you now know why. Insecure changed my perspective and my life.