A POLITE REVIEW: BLACK PANTHER

SPOILERS!!!!! SPOILERS!!!!! SPOILERS!!!!!! IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THIS FILM DON'T READ SHIT!

Okay I told you. 

Thank God I’m black bruh. I can say what the fuck I want and everyone else just gotta accept that shit. My woman will be the most envied and copied creature in the existence of humans. I was with all my homies/loved ones when I seen this movie and we all unapologetically black as fuck and we all love each other. 

You wanna know the day that I knew being black was the greatest blessing? When I was in a bar drunk as fuck and it was a mixed crowd. White, Asian, Latin, Black people. The DJ was playing some weird Tyga song and at that point I should’ve left but the Henny drinks were going for $3 a pop so I was willing to make a sacrifice for my people and my ancestors and listen to a Tyga song in the name of cognac then out of nowhere the heavens opened up and I heard a voice that said “fear not my child, you’ve endured” There was a warm feeling in my chest. I thought it was God but really it was the double shot of Henny I just took and then the DJ started playing March Madness and I dropped my drink and ran to a group of Black Brothers and Sisters I did not know and started singing together with our arms on each others shoulders like we were finally free. A white girl tried to to dance on me and I hit Cassie with the quickest stiff arm in black history and continued to praise dance to Future Hendrix with my new family. 

So yeah….. Black Panther.

We start out in the Bay Area in Oakland. My niggas got choppers on the table like a prime Gucci Mane LaFlare verse. I liked how it started in Oakland. Besides it being Ryan Coogler hometown. Oakland is where the Black Panther Party started and this is where the movie starts. I don’t know if that’s what Ryan was aiming for but that’s what I took from it. 

Anywho. T’challa pops comes through with 2 bald baes and he caught his little brother lying bout selling Vibranium on the side like G-Money slanging crack on the side behind Nino brown back. Told his little bro to bring his ass home and get his mind right and the movie begins. 

The first action scene was dope because we see the technology T’Challa has access to immediately and we see Lupita fine ass. I don’t blame T’Challa. I freeze every time I see her too. I was just ready to get to Wakanda. When the movie finally takes us there what’s the first thing we see? Angela Bassett (T’Challa’s Mother) looking like a Caramel Cake with the good icing. Out the gate I loved T’Challa little sister. She’s dope. 

First time we see Erik Killmonger he dressed like a nigga who lives in Pac-Sun and is waiting in line for a Yeezy shoe release. Klaw comes in and he quickly shows why he’s a menace and evil mothafucka. He’s a psycho so I’m like yeah I fucks with dude this movie gone be lit. 

The ceremony where they crown Kings in Wakanda looks like a fire 2000’s colorful and upbeat R&B video and they all do the Bankhead bounce while you become royalty. It really brings a tear to your eye. Plus they asks every tribe “Any of you niggas want the fade?” Before crowning the King. I LOVE THAT SHIT! Can you imagine being crowned King and you basically declare “I’m being crowned King today but nobody gone beat my ass tho?” You couldn’t tell me shit in Wakanda. I’d be doing the big dick walk all over that mothafucka. T’Challa had a nigga ask for the fade and T’Challa accepted that fade quick as fuck, beat his ass for talking bout his pops and sister and then they laid T’Challa The King in some seasoning salt and he went to talk to his pops. Pops eye was shoulder leaning tho. We gotta get pops them Malcolm X glasses. Wakanda lit though. Niggas got pet Rhinos like we got Pitbulls. 

So that scene where T’Challa goes after Klaw was funny as fuck. First why did they give bald bae the itchiest quick weave in the Wakanda history? Second, like a true black queen she made due with that shit and used it in battle for her benefit. Black Women undefeated and the most resourceful bruh. She was fucking everybody up in that bootleg casino with that spear though. Bald Bae needs her own movie. The chase scene was dope. Black Panther was Swag Surfin on a Lexus like a real one and they finally caught Klaw but as usual he gets away again and they’re back to square one. 

T’Challa finally learns the truth of what happens in Oakland and learns about his cousin Erik Killmonger and this is where things got weird for me. I finally had a cringeworthy moment in the movie. 

Let me take a deep breath before I say this………. 

This nigga Michael B. Jordan cannot act bruh. Well at least in this shit. I'm sure he's great in other shit but acting wise he’s awful in this movie and his style just doesn’t fit this part. He looks the part for sure but when we get to the part of the movie where he returns home to Wakanda I was literally turning away from the screen because of his acting skills. In the movie “Creed” he was decent because his voice kinda matched an athlete and it’s a sport movie but in this Black Panther shit he’s Erik Mothafuckin Killmonger he’s supposed to be a savage. Menacing. A straight up beast and I didn’t get that vibe from him at all. I didn’t fear him. I laughed at him. When Bane appeared in The Dark Knight Rises I feared him. You get what I’m saying? The white boy who played Klaw was a better villain than Michael was and that’s backwards. I did not believe Michael B. Jordan when he was talking shit at the council and asking for the fade. It' wasn't convicting. It sounded so corny and forced that me and my nigga Patric was in the theater laughing our asses off. I bet not hear shit about an Academy Award performance for him as Killmonger. Everybody else parts sure, but him? No. Don't even try that shit. 

T’Challa gets his ass beat by Killmonger which this scene was great because Michael B. Jordan had very little lines during the fight and niggas was getting it in as Chris Brown would say. This fight scene was very critical because this allows us to unlock “Grey Dreads Angela Bassett.” LORDT! I need her in my life. The most important ladies in T’Challa’s life go look for a solution to dethrone Erik. They seek out M'Baku (The man T'Challa defeated for the throne) to be the next Black Panther and defeat Killmonger. Winston Duke as M'Baku really stole the show during this portion of the film. He is an amazing actor. Hilarious lines. Not allowing the white man to speak in his presence. He could smell the casserole and pot luck food nobody wants on that boy and he wasn't having that shit. M'Baku declines the ladies offer and he takes them to a nearly dying T’Challa chilling in the snow like chicken in the sink your momma asked you to take out while she was at work. T’Challa was froze forreal now. I'm sure this will not be the last time we see M'Baku. He could come back as "Man-Ape" in Black Panther 2 because in the comics dude was a beast forreal forreal. The M'Baku we saw in this movie wasn't "Man-Ape" yet nor had superpowers. Most likely that's the direction they will go for a villain in part 2. 

I really wanted to see Killmonger’s reign over Wakanda be more evil and a little bit longer shit was shorter than Chris Brown role in “Stomp The Yard.” Sure he choked a woman but I needed to see more disrespect of the countries traditions. I needed a Marlo from The Wire Season 5 "The price of the brick going up" moment but actually that might’ve been a blessing because I need Michael B. Jordan to say as little as possible at this point. Niggas need to dig up Wallace from The Wire cause that nigga Micheal acting skills died with that nigga. All I we saw in the reign was the nigga from “Get Out” acting like such a hoe nigga that we wish he could go back to the sunken place and Killmonger try to get these weapons sold. Then T’Challa just appeared like “CRAIG THIS IS THE REMATCH!” Erik really on some shit like “I’m not doing no fighting shit” I said out loud in the theater “Don’t run from the fade now bitch nigga!” I was disappointed in that. You Killmonger bruh. You a gangsta. Run the fade back. 

The final fight scenes I had an issue with. Now the big war that shit was dope. Bald Bae being flawless as usual fucking niggas up with not a drop of sweat on that beautiful milk dud head of hers. Niggas was calling out Rhinos like Axel calling for the police car with the missiles in Streets Of Rage. The big war scene was great. My only issue was with Killmonger final fights. 

Killmonger’s first fight with the ladies was good. He killed one and showcased his ruthlessness. When he started fighting T’Challa sister and girlfriend I lost my shit laughing because even this nigga grunts during the fight sounded awful. How the fuck you still can’t act and I can’t even see your face? I was weak! Finally we get to the rematch between The Black Panther and Erik Killmonger. 

I was disappointed with the rematch for 2 reasons. One. It should’ve been more epic. Their first fight was amazing and I was actually very into it but for their second fight I wasn’t on the edge of my seat. Not one second did I feel something drastic would happen. That final fight should’ve been big as fuck. It’s for the throne of Wakanda and it didn’t feel that way. Second, the CGI looked very weird it was actually too much CGI. I wasn’t feeling that. The CGI was at it's WORSE when Daniel Kaluuya was on the rhino during the big fight scene. Why did that not get clipped? Then when Killmonger died that was again THE WORSE acting I’ve ever seen. The way Michael B. Jordan was looking when he got stabbed and was breathing hard looked like he hit the gas too hard as a nigga with virgin lungs. This nigga death scene was trash. It was hard to watch for all the wrong reasons. I understood him getting to see the sunset in Wakanda before he died just like his father promised but his acting just didn't do it for me. 

T’Challa regains the throne. Gets his woman. Things are back in order in Wakanda, and he buys the whole block in Oakland. The End. 

Chadwick absolutely MURDERED his role as T’Challa/Black Panther. He had humorous lines in the right spots. Everything he did was on point he was PERFECT. The only thing I didn't like about his performance was out of his control and more on the writing side. I wanted to see T'Challa really go through more emotional and mental pain on his road back to the rematch with Killmonger because he lost convincingly and got embarrassed by a guy who just arrived in Wakanda for the first time. 

EVERY BLACK WOMAN IN THIS MOVIE KILLED THEIR ROLE TOO! Lupita as Nakia was so convincing she’s really an underrated actress that should be top tier in Hollywood. Angela as Ramonda was beautiful. Angela is Angela. She’s a legend she always gone do what she do and that’s serve excellence. Danai Garira as Okaye aka Bald Bae was the SLEEPER of the film. Her performance was so gangsta I was in love with her in every scene she was in. Letitia Wright as T’Challa little sister Shuri was adorable. Lots of hilarious lines that weren't forced and timed perfectly and she absolutely did her thing as T’Challa’s genius scientist sister. Shoutout Forrest Whitaker, Daniel Kaluuya, Sterling Brown too! ST.LOUIS IN THIS BITCH!!! He did a great job also. Sterling been on fire as of late. It’s his time. 

I know I was hard on Michael on this review and my opinion won't be a popular one but I’m real big on honesty and that’s how I felt. I'm happy for him he's come a long way. His performance lacked but luckily no one else did so the movie didn’t suffer.

Before I wrap this shit up just think about Erik and T’Challa for a second. 

Erik Killmonger was a former war vet and went to MIT but he sounded ignorant as fuck when explaining his beliefs to Wakanda and T’Challa. Also how can a man that smart not see how his behavior affect the people around him? He didn’t sound or act intelligent at all. I don’t know if the writers just wanted to make Erik the complete opposite of T’Challa to make it more entertaining to people who are new to Black Panther but honestly they’re both really intelligent. I think it would’ve been better if it was shown they have the same goal but from different perspectives like how Professor X and Magneto are. Magneto wasn't ignorant. He was very intelligent and the argument he presented to Professor X argument had so many points that he articulated clearly. They both want mutants to live peacefully but they just go about it differently. You could tell they wanted T’Challa and Erik to have that Martin and Malcolm feel but they got kinda extra with it. It just seemed like Erik did shit just to do shit with no real intention of change for his people. He seemed more greedy and selfish than he did about a revolution. He should've been more of an anti hero. This just my opinion though. 

Much love to Ryan Coogler. He hit a home run with this. We saw what it means to come from Royalty and how to carry yourself. Using your resources to achieve greatness and change instead of pointless wars. Seeing the trauma and anger young black men have when they lose their fathers. Last but not least working together as a race. There were great messages to take from this movie. Definitely a top 5 MCU film. 

4 outta 5 fruit snacks.

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