15 LESSONS FROM 90'S CARTOONS

Here are 15 lessons I've learned from Cartoon Characters 

CARE ABOUT IMPRESSING YOUR CRUSH - MAX GOOF 

 

Max was deemed a loser at his high school. He was a fellow introvert but just like the majority of all introverts we're supremely talented and we rarely show it because we're shy and don't like people. Max had a crush on Roxanne and to impress her he staged a fucking concert at an assembly. He risked suspension and possible expulsion for his crush. Shit some niggas won't even text their crush and Max straight put on a Michael Jackson-esqe show. Once Roxanne saw Max moonwalk it was a done deal. Max simply cared and went above and beyond to show her he did. Showing women you care will always be the wave. 

IF YOU GONNA BE GANGSTA MAKE IT LOOK GOOD - CARMEN SANDIEGO

 

Before I knew and obsessed over Trina in middle school, this was the baddest bitch I ever seen in my life. Carmen Sandiego rarely spoke, stole rubies, artifacts, weapons, money, swung from grappling hooks while wearing designer clothes from head to toe. Hair was always slayed. Never broke a heel and never got caught. If you gonna be criminal make that shit look sessy. 

DESTROY YOUR ENEMY COMPLETELY/FINISH THE JOB - WOLVERINE 

 

Before I knew who Vegeta was I knew Wolverine from X-Men The Animated Series. He was Vegeta before Vegeta. Another gangsta with little man syndrome. Wolverine taught me to finish the job. While all the other X-Men would try to save their enemy Sabretooth, Wolverine wasn't having it. He was trying to kill him cause he knew saving him meant someone else would get hurt. Destroy your enemy completely. Finish the job. Never let your foot up off bitch niggas necks. Let me give you an example of Wolverine's feelings about Sabretooth. 

"He’s almost near death" - Professor X

"Not Near Enough" - Wolverine 

WORK WITH WHAT YOU HAVE - ARNOLD SHORTMAN

 

On Hey Arnold, Arnold was poor but had the coolest attitude about life and the coolest room of course. They turned their attic into a room and fixed it up themselves to make it the greatest room in television history. Work with what you have and be thankful. Make the best out of unfavorable situations. Arnold had the zen like patience of a monk at 9 years old. 

BE THE BEST - OTTO ROCKET 

 

Otto Rocket was a jerk but one thing you couldn't deny about him is that he wanted to be the best and his work ethic was insane. To be the best you have to practice as much as possible. Otto spent at least 100 hours a week doing extreme sports. Be the best you can be at your craft. 

WRITE EVERYDAY - DOUG 

 

Doug was a creepy motherfucker. He was literally about to have a seizure about going into the Honkerburger for the first time. He saved a packet of ketchup and put it into a mini treasure chest because it reminded him of the first time he met Patti Mayonaise. He never lived in reality. He's just a weird dude. But one thing he did that was cool was write everyday. He wrote his feelings down everyday. Writing things down is healthy and helps a great deal. 

OUTSMART EVERYONE - ANIMANIACS 

 

Watch the animaniacs on Netflix (If it's still there) and notice how they have a rebuttal for everything. Those 3 little rat dogs or whatever the fuck they were are witty. They outsmarted people by breaking things down to it's most simplistic form. 

NEVER GIVE UP - WILE E COYOTE 

 

How did he not starve to death? All he wanted to eat was the road runner. He could've easy ordered some food cause he damn sure was ordering every fucking gadget and invention from the ACME company. I hope he had warranties on all that ACME shit because that shit was always malfunctioning but despite all that. Wile E Coyote would not give up. He taught me perseverance. 

PRACTICE SARCASM - RAPHAEL 

 

The original Ninja turtles cartoon is my 2nd favorite cartoon ever and not only did he teach me not to be no bitch but also I learned sarcasm from Raphael. He was the funniest character because of it too. 

QUESTION EVERYTHING- PINKY 

There were a few bricks missing from his building but Pinky was full of questions and he would always ask them at will. A lot of them were dumb but Pinky was so adorable you didn't care. Question everything. It's okay not to know it all. 

BEHIND EVERY GREAT MAN IS A GREATER WOMAN - INSPECTOR GADGET

 

This show was made in the mid 80's but I never saw it until the 90's. Inspector Gadget was a smart doofus. I think he was smarter than he lead on but he would've probably killed himself years ago if it wasn't for his niece Penny. Penny solved all the fucking cases and Inspector Gadget got all the credit. Penny was smart as fuck and she always kept her cool. She would never panic and she wore cool ass varsity jackets and rode cool ass bikes. 

WORK SMARTER NOT HARDER - SCROOGE MCDUCK

 

Besides swimming in his money like a Blac Youngsta Instagram video. Scrooge practiced one of the most common quotes in history. He wanted to make more money to move to America from Scotland so he worked smarter not harder by making inventions to shine multiple shoes at once and he started to make money faster and more efficiently and not at the expense of his health. Work smarter. Not harder. 

GIVE A FUCK BOUT EARTH - CAPTAIN PLANET

 

It’s snowing in April. We need Captain Planet more than ever right now. A show with kids all with different ethnicities working together to protect and give a fuck about the planet they inhabit. If Captain Planet was here global warming would've been caught the fade. 

HUMANS ARE STUPID - DARIA 

 

Daria is one of the most underrated shows ever. Nobody kept it as real as Daria. One thing I learned from Daria is that humans are stupid. They do shit just to do it and they do shit because everyone else does then try to judge people who don't live their life that way and try to make them feel bad for doing so. Daria refused to be a sheep and got joy out of not giving a fuck. She was Ron Swanson before Ron Swanson. 

ECONOMICS - TJ DETWEILER  

Recess explained in an episode inflation, redistribution of income, and business ethics in minutes. TJ had a beeper like a 90's dope boy and was stacking and then reinvesting the monsticker currency and repeating it over and over until he he owned 4 of every 5 monsticker on the playground. I learned how to make money work for me, how to bounce back from a loss, and how it can destroy me too. It showed you the pros and cons of capitalism. Realest episode ever. 

Peace.