ATLANTA "TEDDY PERKINS" REVIEW

King Darius VII asked for Jicama. Underrated veggie right there. 

Where the fuck this creepy nigga come from?

This creature has a booty chin so you know that he up to something conspicuous. 

Aye Stevie Wonder songs do be as long as a woman figuring out what she wants to eat. 

Naw you not Teddy nigga you Michael. Somebody call Kanye and tell him his nigga not dead. 

Of course King Darius VII has on a flannel on his stand alone episode. 

I’m high and by the looks of this episode I picked the perfect time to be high…….. God’s Plan. 

Don’t lie… you threw up in your mouth a little bit watching this white nigga fuck around with that Ostrich egg. 

This nigga looks like a Ventriloquist dummy. Looks fresh off a Goosebumps book cover. 

Why Benny gotta have a skin condition and why his name gotta be Benny. That’s my name. I’m fucking pissed and disgusted.

Artists who play from pain always make fire shit but we’re selfish as fuck for celebrating that though. Like Mary J Blige made “My Life” from pure pain and niggas dancing to “Mary’s Joint” and vibing to “My Life” and nobody asking her if she okay. 

He got cameras all over the crib like Tony Montana. Which is ironic cause this nigga face the color of cocaine and whoever wrote this episode is on cocaine. 

I just got back from seeing “A Quiet Place” and this episode scarier than that shit. I know this shit about Michael Jackson and Michael Jackson life was scary as fuck when you think about it. Nigga got beat his whole life. Mike Never had time to touch a titty and tell friends about it when he was 11 like me. Mike never got a wall dance to the Isley Brothers. Yeah he made “Off The Wall” and “Thriller” but that shit came with a price and the price was not being able to do ratchet shit with your friends. 

A two regret life limit pact. Welp mines are college and all my relationships so I would be dead as Teddy’s face if I lived by King Darius VII standards. 

Forreal though. Why Sammy Sosa look like garlic? 

I wanna Joan against paperboi. He seems like a worthy opponent. That he looks like whats under a scab line took a nigga out. 

I’ve never had Krystals in my life. Never would I betray White Castles. My momma raised me right. 

This weirdo standing at the window waving creepily like every white horror movie trailer in the past decade. 

King Darius VII threw up Wakanda in the photo. 

This nigga has a gift shop in his house……yeah he got body parts stashed somewhere. I bet that whole mansion smells like ear wax. 

Why he give his dad a white lady titty for a face? 

This nigga named off every piece of shit father in history. But he didn’t say my Uncle Lavar Ball’s name. So all the haters can eat a dick. BIG BALLER BABY! 

Aye paperboi a real friend for sending that “U dead yet” text. That’s the same shit my friends would do. Joan but care at the same time. 

This white nigga hit the piano so hard and sounded like Peter Brady going through puberty when he screamed “NO YOU CANT!” Im hollering! 

King Darius VII touched the blood on the piano. I hope he doesn’t transform into a 33 year old white woman like Teddy. 

I’m gonna start saying “Fine Destiny” to justify shit I don’t feel like doing. 

This nigga in a wheelchair looking like Darkman. 

Well at least I know Teddy and Benny are two different weirdos because there’s no way he could change that fast and be in the basement that quick. 

I would literally fuck that car up and put the piano in there anyway. Nigga not gone set me up bruh. 

What if the piano is these niggas soul or something. I know this episode probably has deep meaning to it but I don’t care. I’m worried about King Darius VII safety. 

This white nigga watching old videos of himself like a athlete that blew his knee out. 

Welp this Elmer’s Glue face ass nigga pulled a Elmer Fudd ass gun on King Darius VII. How dare this lil bitch. 

Aye this white lady reflexes slow as fuck. King Darius VII could low-key give him the fade and wash him with that gun in his hand. 

I’m kinda glad both these niggas dead so they can go be black again. 

Playing “Evil” by Stevie Wonder was perfect. A perfect song for life period. 

Damn King Darius VII didn’t even get the Piano. That shit probably haunted as fuck anyway. 

Moral of the story? Love your Black and have friends.

Peace. Polite Coolery Podcast Back Next Week.