A POLITE REVIEW: THE AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR

Spoilers. Get the fuck out if that matters to you. 

Winter Soldier 

Avengers: Infinity War 

Thor Ragnorok 

Civil War 

Iron Man 

My top 5. Don’t say shit to me. There’s nothing to discuss. 

Walking into this the first time I saw it my anxiety was going through the roof. I was literally an hour away from seeing a movie I’ve waited 10 years for. My adrenaline was pumping like a man who fucking off a night full of drinking Henny. 

After I left I thought “Best movie in the MCU.” The second time I saw it I was able to focus because I knew how the story ended so I was able to focus on the dialogue more instead of the action. In terms of scale, yes it’s the best Marvel movie. To do what they did with that many characters has not been done before. Overall though I got it at number 2 in the MCU for now. 

Anyway. Let’s talk about it. Avengers: The Infinity War. 

First off Asgard is not a place. Asgard is not a people. Asgard is a bunch of dead as fuck mothafuckas. Thanos came and killed a whole country bruh. They thought they was gone go to Europe chill and sip lager’s and shit. Nah bruh. We see Ebony Maw immediately which I was super excited about. To see him sing praises of Thanos while walking over hundreds of dead bodies was pretty fucking lit. Then my favorite part of the movie. Loki uses the same line Iron Man used in the first Avengers “We have a Hulk” and Hulk just comes outta nowhere and starts the fade. Hulk beating his ass but Thanos gave that boy a 6 piece with a side of mash then slammed the green shit outta Hulk like Deebo did to Craig on Stanley’s car windshield. That moment set the tone of the movie and Thanos’s dominance. If you never knew about Thanos until the movies or wasn’t a big comic book reader you knew he was someone you don’t fuck with after that scene. The moment Thanos slammed the Hulk like he wasn’t shit the movie title should’ve been changed to…..  

Thanos: The Movie. 

Loki dead as fuck he got his neck snapped like a good round of pencil break. Loki is annoying so I didn’t initially care but Thor’s arc is always centered around Loki so a part of me was kinda sad. Heimdall was cool and he saved Hulk but he dead as fuck too. So Thanos caught thousands of bodies in the first 5 minutes of the film. SUPER IMPORTANT! They didn’t waste time on showing the viewer who’s the boss of this shit and how much of a threat Thanos is. 

They broke up the characters into teams which I thought was cool and smart. The teams were

Iron Man

Dr.Strange

Spider Man 

Bruce Banner(Hulk was shook) 

Thor

Rocket 

Teen Groot 

Star Lord

Gamora

Drax

Mantis

Captain America

Black Panther & his gang (Okaye, Mbaku)

Bucky 

Black Widow

Scarlet Witch 

Vision 

No Hawkeye he’s basically Krillin from DBZ so he's useless and No Ant-Man. 

Team Iron Man got the bulk of the screen time and their team were the most interesting personality wise. Iron Man and Dr.Strange are the same type of personality. Witty, kinda assholes. Spider Man is kinda the same too but adds the innocence to the group. Bruce basically came to the group on some “OMAR IS COMING” shit off The Wire. Letting the team know that The Hulk got hoe’d by Thanos and he’s on his way.

Thor and Rocket’s chemistry was dope. When Thor met the Guardians I thought it was okay. There’s was a little too much joking in my opinion. Like my dude you just lost your entire race and your last family member. Everything and everyone you knew from home is dead. Why are you having a back and forth with Star Lord? Maybe a joke here and there but it went on and on and Thor saw Thanos up close and personal so I really didn’t get why this scene was so light hearted. Then again it is Star Lord and he never takes shit seriously. Only Gammora takes things seriously. All the other Guardians play all day. 

Captain America’s team really didn’t have much dialogue and we didn’t get a chance to see their personalities play off each other which I was disappointed in that. They were just fighting a lot which is okay. 

Scarlet Witch don’t have an accent no more. I guess Marvel said fuck it and Vision was getting bullied the whole fucking movie. All he wanted was to lay up with his girl. They was on his ass for 2 hours straight. 

The teams are formed and in place and they only have one objective. Stop Thanos from getting all the infinity stones. 

What did I like about this movie? 

ACTING

The acting in this film was amazing. A lot of Marvel films in the past has had some shaky acting (especially from it's villains) but the acting in this film was on point especially from Thanos. Josh Brolin did such a great job as Thanos especially in his final scene with Gammora. We see his decision actually hurt him emotionally. There were so many great moments of beautiful acting. The scenes with Peter and Gammora. Thor's scene with Rocket where we finally see that Thor is actually scared of Thanos. It's the first time we see Thor who's the strongest Avenger unsure about going up against a enemy. He's usually very confident but to see him unsure was gold. Peter Parker's death was amazing acting. Ebony Maw was on point. I had no complaints about none of the acting in a Marvel film which is a first. 

THE PACING

 

The pacing of Infinity War was good. I felt after the movie was over that I could’ve sat through another hour. This movie could’ve been as long as Scottie Pippen's arms and I would’ve sat through that shit with no complaints. It was a fun ride. I was on the edge of my seat watching Thanos go from place to place on a treasure hunt. 

HUMOR

 

Besides the humor when Thor and The Guardians met and Loki’s awkward moment before he was killed by Thanos it was perfect everywhere else. Stark calling Ebony Maw Squidward. Spider Man with the pop culture reference to the movie “Alien” when fighting Ebony Maw. Drax did his thing as usual. It’s what Marvel movies are known for. 

FIGHTS

I think I enjoyed every fight scene. Every major character was introduced through an action scene of some sort which was cool. We saw Thanos wipe the floor with Hulk at the very beginning. The cool thing about that fight is that you saw that all hulk knows how to do is smash shit. Thanos is more calculated and threw precise punches in vital spots and he was fucking the Hulk up with actual boxing skills. Hulk has no hands. NONE. 

Iron Man and Strange fought Maw which was a great fight. The best fight by far was Team Iron Man and Team Star Lord vs Thanos. The choreography was dope as fuck and they fought as a team. To see all these characters you’ve seen over 10 years fight side by side and as a team was so special. It warmed my nerdy ass heart. Thanos was at his best on this scene. He threw the fucking moon at them like a prime Peyton Manning. It was just insane. There was nothing they could do with him and they almost beat him until Star Lord found out about Gammora and lost his cool which I understood. Just like Thor, Star Lord has lost everyone he’s truly loved. Gammora was all he had left so I understand him losing his cool. 

You saw Spider Man use his Iron Spider Suit. Iron Man was the only person in the film who really got with Thanos. Stark earned everyone’s respect after the movie. Even Thanos had to give Tony his credit and that was some real shit. Doctor Strange wasn't folding either. The fight on Titan was so gangsta. The War in Wakanda was crazy but the camera work on it was really shaky so I couldn’t really see everything. If they would use the same camera techniques they used in Winter Soldier I think the fight scenes would be 100 times more insane. When Thor got to Wakanda the theater went crazy! Dopest entrance ever. THE GOD WAS BACK! He gave you that glimmer of hope. 

When Thanos appeared in Wakanda the whole theater gasped on the opening night. Iron Man team gave him the best challenge and when he got to Wakanda you just knew in your heart it was a wrap. He stole the fuck outta Captain America and resurrected that boy Vision like Lazurus just to kill him again. Brought that boy Vision back like a Dj Drama Gangsta Grillz tape track and pulled that stone out his head like a wisdom tooth. When Thor hit Thanos with The Stormhammer and told him he should’ve aimed for his head and snapped his fingers OH MY FUCKING GOD THAT WAS PERFECT!!!!!!! You saw that Thanos can be hurt even if he has all 6 stones but he still pulled it off and beat The Avengers.

Speaking of Thor. Why is he so hell bent on having a weapon? His father told him in Ragnorok that he doesn't need one and that his true power is inside himself. I guess it doesn't make sense for Thor to not have a weapon. It would be boring if he didn't have a weapon. 

HOPELESSNESS 

I liked how despite the comedy in the film you feel this sense of hopelessness. Every time Thanos obtained another infinity stone it was like a gut punch to the audience. Every time you thought someone had the edge on him he’d disappoint everyone except me because I was cheering for him. Even though Disney owns this shit I was surprised at how dark it was and how brutal some parts were. This is the most brutal film in the M.C.U and the most hopeless one for sure. 

EBONY MAW

Even though he wasn’t the main villain he’s definitely one of the best in the MCU. He was formidable. Every scene he was in was MONEY! Wish he stuck around until the end. 

GAMMORA’S HARD KNOCK LIFE

Gammora loves Thanos but hates him. It’s a interesting conflict. He killed her people but he saved her and raised her. When she stabbed him twice she started crying which shows that she loves him but she knows what’s at stake. I liked that part of her arc. Then for her to find out that Thanos really did love her when he went to obtain the soul stone and needed to exchange her life for it was really heavy. It just shows you how complex Thanos is. 

Now what I didn’t like. 

CGI 

The CGI of Peter Dinklage was pretty bad. He still didn’t look like a giant. 

THE FLOW 

This is not the same as pacing. The pacing was pretty fast and there weren’t really any dull moments but I think it was just scenes stacked on each other they didn’t flow well like “The Dark Knight” or “Winter Soldier.” Civil War was like that also. A bunch of action but the scenes didn’t flow well together. 

NO HULK 

Even though that first fight was epic the fact he didn’t come out at all after that made me mad but I understood. Hulk was used heavily in Thor Ragnarok and I’m assuming they didn’t want to go into overkill for this film. So I’m sure he’s gonna go crazy in Avengers 4. 

CAPTAIN AMERICA

I need that boy to catch a fade or give em out. His presence wasn’t really felt in this film and that was weird to me. His moment with Groot was adorable though. 

THE TIME STONE 

NO ONE STOPPED TIME! NOT EVEN THANOS WHEN HE GOT THE STONE! HE REVERSED TIME BUT HE COULD'VE STOPPED TIME AND KILLED VISION AND BOOM IT'S TIME TO GO HOME. YOU HAVE THE TIME STONE! YOU CAN STOP TIME! WHY IS EVERYONE MAKING SHIT SO DIFFICULT?!! HOW IN THE FUCK DID DOCTOR STRANGE DECIDE WE'RE GONNA FIGHT THANOS WHO HAS 4 OF THE 6 STONES WITHOUT USING THE ONE STONE WE HAVE AND PROBABLY THE MOST USEFUL ONE OUT OF THE 6? THAT SHIT IRKED THE FUCK OUTTA ME! 

Now let me talk about the impact of Thanos. 

I’m conflicted about Thanos and here’s why. When we were introduced to him 6 years ago we were introduced to him with the thought that he’s coming to challenge the Avengers in order to court death. You court death by killing people. Simple. Every appearance he had in movies after that was based on that also. He had no philosophy. It was just get all the stones, beat everybody ass and rule shit so death can love him. In Infinity War he actually has ideologies. As fucked up as this sounds there’s some logic in his beliefs. Thanos really makes human genocide understandable and debatable. He believes the universe is in chaos and he wants to balance the universe by committing genocide and erase half of it. Where did this come from? The Thanos we saw 6 years ago would not be giving passes to Tony Stark and Doctor Strange on Titan. Thor would’ve been killed instantly. This Thanos we see in Infinity War actually bargains with them. He gives the heroes options thus not making him really evil in my opinion. 

Thanos is human in this film. We see Thanos cry. We see him have hard times in spots, make hard choices, and deal with the consequences of those choices. The entire film is about him which is a great decision. It’s not about the heroes. It’s about a Titan trying to justify his actions and show why he’s the hero and not the Avengers. He’s misguided but in his mind he’s doing what he feel is right. In a weird way Thanos could be seen as an anti-hero more than a villain. The weird part is that Thanos doesn’t really gain anything from erasing half the universe. He did all that work and killed his daughter just to sit on his porch like Stoop Kid from Hey Arnold and watch the sunset. 

I think if they kept courting death as his motivation the film would’ve been darker and not much dialogue would be shared between Thanos and The Avengers. But on the flip side it could’ve been like The Joker in “The Dark Knight” The Joker brought hell to Gotham City just because. There was no rhyme or reason to his madness. Just like Alfred told Bruce about The Joker “Some people just want to see the world burn.” The only thing I could think of is that The Joker wanted to show the world how shitty humans are. He is what Thanos would’ve been if Thanos kept his original motivation of courting death.

Thanos is hands down the best villain in Marvel though. You have a lot of monsters you wanna see on the big screen. Villains like Galactus, Doctor Doom, Apocalypse, Darkseid (Even though he's D.C), Bane (D.C), Doomsday (D.C). I felt Thanos was the first huge villain that was done right. Doctor Doom was a failure which is a shame because Doom is THAT GUY in the comics. Once Fox and Disney merge please get The Russos to make The Fantastic Four movie we deserve.  Apocalypse was a HUGE failure. Doomsday was ULTRA FAILURE. Bane was decent. Thanos was the best thing about this film. Don’t mention no one else to me. You know what? Here it is….. 

Thanos

Winter Soldier

Hela 

Loki

Vulture 

My top 5 MCU villains right there and I ain’t arguing bout shit.  

Now lets get to everybody turning into backwoods ash. 

Ask yourself this. Does anyone ever die in Marvel? I mean Black Panther disappearing c’mon bruh. You know that boy ain’t going nowhere. He made a billion dollars for Marvel this year. Spider Man dying was sad but then again it wasn’t because if he wasn’t there then he would’ve disappeared somewhere else. Hopefully he’d be laying up with M.J before he disappeared and he’d go out happy. All that were left were the original Avengers and a few supporting cast characters which means the original team has to defeat Thanos. Some people think the people who’ve disappeared went to an alternate universe or they’re living in the soul stone but who knows.

All I know is that it’s difficult to feel sad when you know Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol 3 was just announced. Plus take into account what Doctor Strange said. He said out of millions of scenarios there’s only one scenario he saw where they win the war. Him giving Thanos the time stone is part of that. Did they have to let Thanos win the battle in order to win the war? Well it looks like yes. And plus Tony Stark is very smart you think he didn’t ask Doctor Strange what he saw when he said there’s only one scenario they come out on top? But also knowing Tony he loves to go against the grain and probably thought it was bullshit. 

I predict that in Avengers 4 Iron Man gets the gauntlet reverses things and along with Captain Marvel they defeat Thanos. If you thought Superman was stupid strong wait until you see Captain Marvel, she’s one of the most broken characters in comic book history. She can hang with Thanos even if he has all the stones. We see Nick Fury page her & The Kree before he turns into ash. The only catch to this prediction is that whoever gets that gauntlet in order to get that soul stone they have to sacrifice the life of someone they love. Tony not sacrificing Pepper. He will sacrifice Captain America and show the audience that he truly loves Captain America even though they have never seen eye to eye on anything and Chris Evans has already stated he's done after The Avengers. Bucky will carry on as the new Captain America. That’s my prediction for the next film. 

Overall good movie. This a fun ride and one of the darkest movies in the MCU. I was pleased and can’t believe I actually witnessed it. 10 long fucking years. To make a movie with all these characters is unheard of. The Russo Brothers are legendary. What did you think of the film? Let me know. 

4 outta 5 Fruit Snacks. 

Peace.