KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIP HEALTHY

Happy Tuesday Hoes. Here are 9 ways to keep your relationship healthy.

Establish what the fuck you want immediately. The first few conversations you have you need to get that off your chest. So after the typical shit like getting to know each other background and shit like that. Establish what you’re looking for. It saves both of you a lot of time and headaches. The only surprises I want in my relationship is my shorty taking me out for margaritas or buying me a random anime dvd or blu ray out the blue. No one likes surprises when it comes to emotions and feelings when dealing with relationships. Nobody wanna hear shit like “I didn’t really want a relationship” after a year and some change. I’ve just wasted prime hoeing opportunities fucking around with you. It’s not complicated. I tell you what I want and you tell me what you want and if it’s similar than we proceed if it’s not then we leave each other the fuck alone. All healthy relationships consist of 2 people who have established and made clear what they want.

It’s okay to leave each other the fuck alone. You don’t have to text each other 100 times everyday. Go hang with your friends. Don’t let the relationship become ALL of your identity. You both had friends and hobbies (I hope) before you met each other. Don’t lose those things over the relationship. Me personally, I wouldn’t be mad if a shorty went a couple days without contacting me. I’m busy bruh. Hopefully she busy. We’ll both be okay if a we don’t talk for a couple days. To be infatuated with anything isn’t healthy. I don’t care what anybody says. It’s psycho. Let your shorty go out with her homegirls, she coming back bruh. Ladies let him go out with the homies, he coming back. You don’t need to tag along with your partner everywhere. This might be the healthiest shit you can do as far as relationships go.

Understanding that we’ll be attracted to people outside of the relationship. We human. It’s okay to find other people attractive. It’s apart of biology. I find a lot of people attractive doesn’t mean I like them. Sure I have titties to look at in my relationship that doesn’t mean I’m a stop looking at titties altogether. Outside titties getting looked at. If someone cant accept this then this is where insecurities and jealousy start to make their appearance. If you have a partner who understands this? YOU’VE WON! I’m gonna run into pretty ass women everyday especially in my line of work. Seeing them and talking to them is not gonna make me wanna fuck em. It’s gonna show me that there’s a reason why me and my shorty chose each other. It will remind me that she’s special to me and I’m special to her. Outta all the people we’ve been with in our past or could’ve been with in our future we have each other, and that’s some real shit. I’m attracted to women outside the relationship but they don’t give me what my shorty does which is trust and intimacy. It’s undefeated.

Argue about some shit worth arguing about. Don’t waste arguments. Arguments need to revolve around what a person wants and needs. In my mind if I’m in a argument with my shorty the first thing is on my mind is I hope she don’t buck me and then dump me. I’m beautiful ugly and I don’t wanna go through the process of trusting someone all over again. Second thing on my mind is what is it that she wants and need and is she making that clear to me right now? Wants and needs are the only thing that matters in arguments. Anything else being argued about is stupid and most likely has a person who is just flat out wrong so the argument shouldn’t last long unless that person ego has taken over their brain. Just listen without being defensive and the argument won’t last long.

Everything doesn’t have to be a home run. I think people would rather have a person who does all the little things instead of a person who does big shit but doesn’t account for the little things. To give an example of this, every trip doesn’t have to be super extravagant. Some people mode of thinking is “Well I can’t afford the big trip so there’s no point of going at all.” Nigga nah. Rent a whip, drive somewhere and just have a get away. Shit Denver 10-11 hours driving that ain’t shit. New Orleans is the same. That ain’t shit. If I can’t afford to take my shorty to like Greece, Jamaica, or something like that then fuck it we drive to Denver, get faded as fuck and have her sit on my face in front of a view on the mountains. It’s better than nothing. Cut all that fancy shit out. If you’re both lit it doesn’t matter where you go because you will enjoy each other’s company regardless. If you can’t buy a super nice gift put some thought into a gift. Don’t show up with nothing or half-assing shit. It’s okay to think big and always go for the home run but sometimes in order to win the game you have to take what the pitcher is giving you.

Learning things and getting into hobbies you never thought you would get into because of your partner is important. I love to be put onto shit. Even if I originally thought it was stupid. A relationship stays healthy this way. I love anime and if my shorty never really fucked with it and sees me watching something and she’s suddenly into it, that would be some playa shit. I’d be so proud. Then she would research some shit that she would be into in that genre. If she’s not into it that’s okay too. One of my exes put me onto Lady Gaga. I thought it was some weird shit but then she kept telling me to listen to her album and I was like “Damn this shit slaps.” Having different opinions and taste is normal in a relationship. My parents are kinda similar but very different. My momma emotional. My dad not emotional but it works. As long as your values aren’t different you’re good.

Start talking about things that have nothing to do with your everyday life. I like to call those things we talk about everyday “The usual suspects.” That includes work, school, your friends, bills, etc. You just gotta be laying up and then out the blue ask “How is Ryu from Street Fighter still giving niggas fades and he 50 years old?” That’s a interesting and healthy mothafucking conversation. Talking about things outside of your personal world allows you to find out even more interesting things about your partner. There are infinite ways of thinking and different thoughts we have and that’s why the brain is the most complex creation of all time. Don’t limit your conversations to the same shit.

Honesty and calling out the bullshit is hella crucial. If I’m tripping let me know. Fuck my feelings. Hurt my feelings if you have to. I rather have my feelings hurt than be out here on some bullshit. If my fit look trash let me know. Don’t have me out here looking crazy. I don’t ever want my shorty to feel like she has to censor herself for me just so I can feel good. We trust each other and I know her honesty comes from a place of love and care. I hate when people lie to protect people’s egos or lie to make people feel better. Nobody wins in those scenarios and the relationship always suffers in the long term.

You have to accept your partner for who they are. If you can’t then neither of you will be happy. If you enter a relationship and you seen things that were red flags to you and thought to yourself “I can change or fix him or her” then the relationship is gonna fail. It’s not your job to change anyone. That’s something they have to want to do on their own. Relationships is more than just date nights, intimacy, and flaunting each other to the world. Children think like that. Everybody has flaws and if your partner has a flaw that isn’t a big deal to you then cool, proceed. If it’s something that you feel is a legit issue then you need to be real with yourself before you waste your time. If you can’t live with your partner’s flaws then they’re not for you. For example If I’m out on a date with someone who’s too sensitive and can’t really understand my sense of humor then it’s not gonna work because I’d be walking on egg shells the entire relationship and I will be unable to gauge what she’s offended by or not. I don’t give a fuck how good she look or how good she can cook tacos. We won’t work. Stop thinking short term about how you feel now and think long term. The relationships that are healthy is the ones where the individuals involved understand and can live with their flaws. That’s what will keep you together.

Peace.

@politeasflannel

@jayjaybenny

@politecoolery

Listen to the blog podcast Polite Coolery.

Benny