Part 1 was the first blog I ever wrote on this site.

But wait…. there’s more.

These movies are awful also but I still watch em.

BELLY

One of the dumbest movies ever created. How in the fuck did Tommy have that house with no plug? It seemed like all he did was rob niggas and unless you like your chicken unseasoned, casseroles, and a white politician you not making major money robbing people. Nobody in the movie could act. Keisha was the only good thing about this movie. If the lord told me I’ll let Keisha sit on your face but I want your life in return then I’m meeting Tupac the next day. You got bitches jumping off balconies in heels and not breaking their ankles. A nigga in a shootout with a vest on get hit with a shotgun at point blank range and is still able to escape the police. You got some nigga sweaty glistening like a Barry White performance in 1972 making calls and hits from prison over wire taps. Sincere gets shot in the leg and all of sudden he’s Shaka Zulu. The sun never shines. This movie made no fucking sense and yet it’s one of my favorites.

3 NINJAS

In my top 5 movies of all time. I love it. I watch it once a month. But damn this movie mid. These 3 kids are white as fuck with a Japanese grandfather. Not one trace of asian in these white kids like a Instagram hoe lying about her ethnicity. Then the fact 3 kids who’ve only studied karate for a summer are beating the shit out of grown ninjas with swords is laughable. A white guy with a 80’s ponytail and a flea market suit sells missiles to foreigners and he escapes the FBI in a helicopter and just casually goes back to his mansion like it wasn’t a war crime. That house and his boat would be seized in real life. They send 3 idiots to kidnap these kids and of course these morons failed. It’s just a bad movie across the board. The fact that 3 sequels followed amazes me.

POETIC JUSTICE

I understand why everyone loves this movie. I get it. But it’s mid. Janet can’t act. She doesn’t make Justice come to life at all. Justice is just “there.” Her and Tupac’s romance just doesn’t have chemistry. Tupac and Regina King acting saved this film from being an absolute dumpster fire. People love the aesthetic of this movie and the vibe of it. The poems were kinda placed in weird spots. The potential of Justice character was fumbled. So many paths that character could’ve gone down. I wanted to know what lied beyond for Justice. I know it’s more than her finding a man. The ending isn’t great either that’s where the movie is at it’s worse. I only watch this shit because of Pac and that’s it.

TOP GUN

80’s movies are my favorite. I love watching any 80’s movie. Top Gun is in my top 3 behind “Three O’Clock High” and “Revenge Of The Nerds” but holy fuck this movie is cornball central. First of all this dude best friend name was “Goose.” All these names like Viper and Maverick and this dude name was Goose? Fuck that guy. Tom Cruise acting was great in this. This was the film that launched him to mega superstar but the movie was awful. There’s no clear villain at the end. Just some mothafuckas in planes. Tom Cruise love interest had the sex appeal of a chalkboard. She was also the aerial expert of the country but never sat or flew a plane before. How does that fucking work? The volleyball scene was low key the nail in the coffin. Top Gun is basically the m.a.g.a hat in film form. Every character in this film would wear one.

BOOMERANG

I just seen this movie for the first time months ago. I’ve heard the soundtrack 1000 times. It’s timeless. I’ve watched this movie quite a bit since and just like Poetic justice I like the aesthetic of it. The wardrobe. The cast is full of talented black people. 90’s women were petite so you know that pussy had some power. Marcus crib is a crib that is still fly in 2019 but this movie is a disaster low key. Robin Givens did an amazing job but the direction of the movie wack, the screenplay wack, the dialogue wack. I know niggas is dumb but you expect me to believe a nigga who has had every bitch he ever wanted in life would throw his career away over one fling with a woman? Now if she was his ex or something then yeah I could see it but some woman he just met? Nah. The scenes Marcus had with his homies were great. There was chemistry there but his scenes with all the women were dry as fuck and the same thing over and over again. The storyline of Boomerang doesn’t take you anywhere. C’mon G it came down to Halle vs Robin. Nigga that’s a no brainer. The fact that Eddie asked his homie did he smash before telling him he did was some evil shit and the funniest shit I ever seen.

FORREST GUMP

Every time this shit on tv I watch it. Every damn time and it’s the most overrated movie ever. The fact that this won an Oscar over Shawshank and Pulp Fiction is why I never watched The Oscars. That statue means nothing. Anyway the plot is dry and when you think about it lazy as fuck. Forrest Gump is annoying as fuck. They took real events and just placed a fictional character in the middle of it all. He finally got some pussy after being in the friend zone for 20 years. This movie also shows you white privilege at it’s peak. They praised and rewarded this mothafucka for being an idiot. The whole fucking movie. His momma threw some pussy to get him into a good school. He was lucky his whole life while everybody that comes in contact with this man their life gets destroyed. Dan got his legs blown off and he wanted to die on the battlefield. Bubba wanted to be the shrimp king and he gets shot in the war. I just don’t get the hype about it. It’s just a movie that showed me that I have to fly to what a white man can walk to.

Peace

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