I KNEW I WAS FROM ST.LOUIS WHEN....

I knew I was from STL when ..... 

I had to Joan on a girl to get to her heart. Joaning my love language looking ass.

Quarterbrick by Jizzle Buckz became the national anthem.

I never seen an expired temp tag. 

Our bomb pop man sold us mid when we was 12 & he was our hero. 

Jesus didn’t walk on our tap water. He drank our tap water. 

I seen a nigga beat a nigga ass in Northwest Plaza & cop a whole fit like it was nothing he gave that nigga 2 hands & then bought 2 pairs & went downstairs to the tilt. 

I seen a nigga park his car the front way instead of backing it in and his shorty in the car with him called her side nigga immediately. The side nigga was me. 

A switched mobile is the true meaning of heartbreak. 

I had that wheel in The circle when I turned 15. The circle was my drivers license test. 

By the time I discovered Non laters was called “Now & Later” I was paying a mortgage. 

My cup holder full of frooties wrappers and crumbs of weed.

Every Errca or Errkah I dated was flames, had cheeks, and an attitude. 

I believed a nigga with multiple facebook accounts steals. 

When owning a Monte Carlo meant I made it in life. Kinda like Calvin when he got that job at WacArnolds. 

I avoided saying “Brewery” like I avoid 12 with my bad plates. 

I found out we didn’t start White Castles or Rally’s. 

I thought Becky on that flying carpet commercial might be the queen of STL or the police.

A tinted 5 Grand Prix and a 9 with the extendo just make 70 degree weather hit different. 

A Auntie ain’t really an Auntie without a pair of K-Swiss. 

I threw hands with my blood relative over the middle piece of imo’s.

I realized Schnucks wings were my spirit animal.

My granny Pepsi’s tasted different from mine at home.

I realized “Melodies From Heaven” & “My Life Is Like A Whirlwind” are the same thing to me. Both are negro spirituals. 

“Ain’t no bitch in me” by Da Bangaz came on in clubs and parties and Bitches getting beat up went up 314% 

I had all 4 seasons in one day multiple times in my life. 

When a nigga said he never had goody goody niggas made him leave the city.

I seen my homie get caught cheating on his shorty 9 times and he took her to Branson one time and it saved his relationship and now they married. 

I never gave a fuck bout Ted Drew’s & never will.

Them Velda City warrants had me ready to join a church and become a deacon. 

I realized I Never been to Goedekers superstore but that’s my nigga. That’s fam. Everyday but Sunday. 

The city was scorching and White Castle Hi-C Orange stopped a block war. I seen it. 

I was willing to risk my life for call center and Grand Prix coochie. 

I never had a correct Rally’s or Popeye’s order a day in my life.

I did 100 on the dash & the city police thought I was going too slow.

I realized that nobody talk more shit or parties harder than a deadbeat baby daddy. 

I hit a pothole a got PTSD. 

Hot pickle & chips from the bomb pop man were considered a meal. 

I called my 50 year old middle school teacher skan & she knew what it meant. 

When a 35 year old judged you for what you was in high school even though you could pay his or her rent for 3 summers. 

7pm hit I ain’t stopping at red lights anymore 

The Hanley Station is The Upside Down from Stranger Things. 

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