A POLITE RANT: MARVEL VS SONY

Well it looks like Endgame was really the fucking Endgame for Spider-Man. They were better off having that mothafucka die next to Tony Stark if they were going pull this bullshit. I’m sick and tired of these studios bullshit over money. They need to fuck off. I’ve had enough. People are going to blame Sony only for this but Marvel has it’s share for it’s participation in this bullshit. Sony gets more of the blame which it’s warranted but at the end the only people who gets fucked are the fans aka the mothafuckas who gives them the money that these bitches are arguing over. 

Sony. We’ve seen what you’ve done with Spider-Man. It was trash. Dumpster juice. Basura. Waste. Rubbish. Pieces of shit. How many ways should I describe your mediocrity of Spider-Man? Make the fucking deal. Disney pulling out because of Sony not wanting to improve the deal leads me to think that they believe that the last Spider-Man movie made a billion because of themselves and believes they can do it on their own next time. Marvel would be out the deal and you’d get everything but the toy money but what the fuck does that matter when Sony is still going to fuck that up. 

I would like to send a special “go suck a dick" to all of you who went to the theaters and watch that horse shit movie “Venom” and allowing Sony to grow the balls to think they know what the fuck they’re doing on their own. That Venom movie was fucking MID and since you dickheads gassed these morons up by going to see that shit they think we want to see a Venom 2 and this time with Spider-Man in it. How much you wanna bet they’ll have trouble with the cast for future Spider-Man movies? My dick is going to get very hard when I see Sony fall on their face with this shit. I can’t wait to say “I told you so.” 

FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKING GOD WE HAVE TO GET A MILES SPIDER-MAN WITH SONY RUNNING THE SHOW! DO YOU KNOW HOW INCREDIBLY BAD THIS IS?!! THEY’RE GOING TO FUCK THIS UP. I KNOW YOU’RE THINKING “BENNY YOU’RE SO PESSIMISTIC!” I’M NOT PESSIMISTIC. I’M JUST STATING FACTS. WOULD YOU LEAVE R.KELLY TO BABYSIT YOUR TEENAGE SISTER? WELL THATS THE SAME AS LEAVING MILES MORALES TO BE TAKEN CARE OF BY SONY! THESE IDIOTS ALREADY FUCKED UP THE TOY/MERCHANDISE RIGHTS SO THEY DON’T EVEN GET ANY MONEY ON THAT. THESE PEOPLE ARE FUCKING IDIOTS I’M TELLING YOU! SPIDER-MAN IS FINISHED. FANETO. DONE. OVER. GONE. 

This is literally what Sony has done. “Thank You LeBron James. I think we can win a title without you since you were responsible for the last one. We don’t need you anymore we can take it from here.” Sony is the Cleveland Cavaliers after LeBron left.  

Marvel/Disney asking for a bigger piece of the box office movie isn’t unreasonable. They’re the reason the film “Far From Home” made a billion dollars. Imagine your job provides you a building to work in but you’re behind the creative ground work that is worth way more than the building and responsible for all of the companies money and you work overtime every week and you only get 5% of it. You’d fucking ask for a bigger percentage right? Exactly. 

The only way I’d feel sorry for Sony is if Marvel asked for a 50/50 split of production costs, 50% of box office, and Marvel still keep the merchandise deal then I would say fuck that cause you’re getting fucked with no vaseline with that merchandise deal. I think Sony biggest issue is that they don’t want to give up that box office money. The original deal is that Sony pays for all production costs and Marvel gets 5% of box office and Marvel has the right to merchandising. Marvel doesn’t take a loss in this at all. They were doing numbers without Spider-Man for a decade, then they own the merchandising, Marvel is basically set. Sony has to come back and make a deal. 

But back to what I truly give a fuck about which is the story. MCU has a great fucking story in place with Spider-Man. You really think that Sony is going to come close to it? Let’s just say that this shit is really happening and the deal is over. Spider-Man tossed into Venom 2 is a mid-fest waiting to happen. He doesn’t fit that world or story at all. You can’t mention anything MCU related. You can’t mention Tony Stark or Stark’s company. He can have the Stark made suit. This is dumb off the fucking rip since Peter was Tony’s fucking protege. You can’t mention the Infinity War, the snap, nothing. It would be like putting a perfectly cooked meal into a dumpster then taking it out of the dumpster and trying to make it salvageable. NIGGA IT’S OVER! Tom might as well not play Spider-Man anymore. 

I’ll tell you this much. If this deal is real and Spider-Man is out of the MCU I AM FUCKING DONE! I’M NOT WATCHING NO MORE SPIDER-MAN SHIT UNLESS CARNAGE AS A VILLAIN IS INTRODUCED BY SOME DIVINE FUCKING MIRACLE. 

Why it gotta be my favorite fucking superhero apart of this bullshit? Y’all just got the rights to Fantastic Four and X-Men. I want Spidey and The Fantastic Four. I want Spider-Man to fight Doctor Doom. How the fuck are y’all going to do this shit to me? 

Disney, Marvel, whatever the fuck you are and Sony sit the fuck down and get this shit together A FUCKING SAP cause I’ve had enough of this shit and it’s only been a few hours since this bullshit has been announced. 

Let me watch the one thing Sony has gotten correct in the past decade which is “Into The Spider Verse” which I dunno if I can give them credit for it. Rant fucking over. 

Follow us on twitter and instagram 

@politeasflannel

@jayjaybenny

@politecoolery 

Listen to the blog podcast Polite Coolery.