THE PRICE OF MEMBERSHIP
Is there a screening process for inviting people into your life? When you’re looking for a business partner? A partner in an intimate relationship? A person for friendship? What do you look for in people? What qualifies someone to occupy a spot in your life? What qualities do they have to possess?
The reason I've had the same friends for a decade or more or my relationships of all kinds aren’t toxic is because I ask myself important questions about those relationships. When it comes to people I rate them in 3 different categories in this exact order of importance.
SPIRIT
CHARACTER
MENTAL
From a relationship perspective, If I’m looking at a woman that I’m interested in dating then it would be
SPIRIT
CHARACTER
MENTAL
PHYSICAL ATTRACTION
Lets tap into all of the categories and give examples.
SPIRIT
What do you believe in? Do you follow God? How do you center yourself? What role do you feel the universe plays in your life? I’m not talking about being religious. I’m talking about righteousness. There’s a difference between being righteous and being religious. There’s people who go to church every week and they’re not righteous.
A strong spiritual foundation will lead you to peace, power, purpose and a love that is pure. If I’m around you and I feel my spirit is recharged whenever we link, that means our bond has a core that cannot be shaken by hatred, envy, lust, basically the 7 sins and any bullshit that would be by products of those sins.
We walk amongst a society that is anti-black, anti-character, anti-God. If you have morals you are seen as an outcast. So we can’t go where they go. We can’t do what they do. We don't talk about what they talk about. We have to protect our spirit.
When you have a spiritual core, all of those things fall in line behind it. Your spirit is the sun and the planets that revolve around the sun are character, morals, integrity. Spirituality is the most important thing to me in a relationship partner or a friend. It’s non negotiable. If you don’t have some type of belief system then I cannot have you in my life beyond an acquaintance. I cannot be a friend to you. I cannot date you if you have no form of spirituality. Don’t care how pretty a woman is or what materials she possesses. She is hollow. The probability of her being a safe space for me is close to zero.
It’s a war outside that people don’t realize is happening. I can’t afford to be laying up with the enemy. I can’t risk hanging out with people just taking up space and energy. They are trying to break us down piece by piece. Break down our boundaries. Chip away at our principles and the codes we stand on. They want us soulless so we can be controlled and manipulated.
If you have a circle full of people who take their spirituality seriously. You got a circle that can’t be touched.
CHARACTER
Are you intentional? Intentional meaning: do you have a clear sense of what’s important to you? Are you focused? Are the choices you make a reflection of what you truly believe in? You can’t say you want one thing but you’re chasing the other thing. Intention is never questioned. Intention doesn’t need explanation because intention is clear. It’s done before a question can even be asked.
Do you practice self discipline? I’m not saying you have to be a cyborg but are you self disciplined in areas of your life? Regardless how I feel or how you feel, is the mission still the mission in your life and are you sticking to the script regardless of external factors?
Are you selfless? Are you charitable? Are you willing to help those in need? What do you do for your community? Do you have knowledge of self? Self. awareness. Are you an accountable person?
Do you possess good character traits? Kindness, integrity, responsible, respectful, compassionate.
Character is everything. I’m not trying to be around negativity, people who are self defeatist, talking down on themselves and others. Always got an attitude. Always have a woe is me mindset. Always in messiness and drama. Shit like that is annoying and boring. I refuse to be around those types of people.
MENTAL
Are you mindful of your mental health? How are you exercising your mind? Do you read?
When I have conversations with you will my brain get a workout in a good way?
How are you pouring love into yourself? Do you live a lifestyle that puts your mental health in a good space? How do you deal with stress when it arrives in your life? Do you ask for help? Do you check up on people to see how they are doing mentally and if they need help? Are you proactive in that regard and not waiting for your people on social media to say they are not doing well?
PHYSICAL ATTRACTION
This is self explanatory but it’s truly last on the list because if you lack in the 3 previous categories you are not going to be physically attractive to anybody with morals and who really stand for something. It won’t be enough.
Even though I wrote all this and this may sound contradictory but I believe that people aren’t meant to be subjected to our own personal checklists but if you’re going to have a checklist make the checklist full of substance instead of a checklist full of materialism and vanity.
The people that you have around should be people you would trust with your life. Make sure you do your due diligence and surround yourself with people that have values and care about you.
Love, Benny
