5 YEARS LATER.... TITTIES & CARROT CAKE MATTERS

We old as shit dog. 5 years? 5 FUCKING YEARS?! It feels like maybe 3 years tops when my homies, Thug Friends (John and Jhonna) created this modern day hymnal. It's not too late to celebrate this 5 year anniversary by renting out the Fox Theatre, recruiting a orchestra and a choir to do this shit live on some Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart shit except no one involved is on some stuck up classy weak shit. A one song concert and then we all go home and sit on our couches and watch "The Shawshank Redemption." Why that movie? I don't know. Just seems like it would be a fitting way to end an incredible night. Titties and Carrot Cake is turning 5 years old and reflecting back on it helps me realize how important this song and video is and was. 

Carrot cake is pretty delicious. I'm not huge on desserts. Like cakes, ice cream, and shit like that. I like candy. Now & Laters, Lemonheads, etc but actual pastries, cakes, and shit for some reason I don't care for them much but they're good. If that makes sense. I remember at one of my old jobs a co-worker brought in some Carrot Cake and I reacted like J-Rock did in "South Central" when he first seen "HonkyBall." In my mind I'm like "Bitch, why didn't you bring some chocolate cake? You know my black ass don't want no carrot cake." I never had it before but just like J-Rock saw that Honkyball was kind of fun, I tried a slice and got damn that cake was on par with a oiled booty underneath a summer night moonlight. God levels. 

Titties are also delicious. When you sit back and think about a titty and why it's so epic. You can't really figure it out. Like if you just took a nice pair of titties (Big or Small) and placed them on a wall would it still have the same affect on your mind? If titties were on women's backs instead of their chest would we look at titties the same? WHO KNOWS? THAT'S WHAT MAKES THEM AMAZING!!!! Titties are so mystical. They're mysterious like the treasure of One Eyed Willy in "The Goonies." I'm not even a titty guy. I'm weird, I like women's lips. Sounds creepy now that I think about it. Like Hannibal Lector from "Silence Of The Lambs" creepy. I still admire the allure of titties though. Can you just imagine god creating titties for the first time? How could he create something on the same level as his only begotten son Jesus Christ? Titties just make everything better. Let's go over some examples how. You go to a party. There's a pound of kush. You're happy. Place some titties next to that pound of kush. You're happier. You're a lazy basketball player playing a pickup game with your homies. You can't play for shit. Place some titties in the gym you're playing at you start playing like Jordan in his 1990-91 season. Titties are love. All love. 

Put those 2 things together and you create love you can't describe. 2 random delicious things people enjoy. If you saw the title of the song you're going to click it. It just grabs you. I remember when it was coming out and I recall I was supposed to go to the video shoot and remember it was a saturday and it was cold as fuck outside so I stayed home. I was a dickhead and I missed history ladies and gentlemen. It set the internet on fire. Huffington Post covered it. Countless celebs tweeted about it. It was featured on HBO's "Eastbound and Down." Thug Friends were legitimately the worse successful rap duo I've ever seen. I was super proud because they're my friends. 

I'm not one of those people who pretends like I have a small circle or tries to live my life like a Drake lyric. I love my friends. I'm thankful I have friends. Titties and Carrot Cake is just about friends having fun. This is why it matters 5 years later. Get some friends and go have fun guys. You deserve it! You seen it in the video. It's just fun and carefree. Today, everyone is so serious. No one just wants to just flow. There always has to be a why or a reason to why something is done. Not this. They love titties. They love carrot cake. Called Indiana Rome to get them a beat. They rapped about what they loved. Simple. I got into actual twitter wars with random fuck boys thousands of miles away who I will never see in life over this song because they just didn't understand that this song was about 2 delicious things and friends having fun. How can you get mad at anything with titties in the name of the title? I usually don't partake in twitter arguments because the probability of me seeing the people I'm arguing with is slim to none so there's no point. I was just confused at the hate and disrespect shown towards my friends for doing something for pure comedy and joy. They really critiqued it like they were listening to a Kendrick Lamar album. Just enjoy the shit man. 

I actually met a good friend of mine (What's good Jaxx!!) because of this song. No lie. I was in Los Angeles for the ASCAP music expo and I walk into one of the keynotes and I sit in a row and I see this guy, never met him in life. We just start chopping it up about the expo and he starts talking about Titties And Carrot Cake on his twitter timeline and how awesome it is and I was like "YOOOOO THOSE ARE MY HOMIES!! I'M FROM ST.LOUIS!" We've been homies ever since that day. The world is crazy. We bonded over Titties and Carrot Cake like gentlemen are supposed to. I knew god was real that day. 

How could you not love a woman rapping about getting her titties groomed or filling up a glass with her titty milk?  BEAUTIFUL! A guy waking up in the morning to a titty in his mouth? MASTERFUL! This was grade A comedy! 5 years later and Titties and Carrot Cake just gets better with time like Elise O'Neal titties. Damn those were the days (Head ass boy). Thank you Jhonna and John. Forever yall my niggas. Love y'all!