Benny

THE DAY I WANTED TO BE A LUCAS BRO

Benny
THE DAY I WANTED TO BE A LUCAS BRO

I'm watching "Fast Times At Ridgemont High," on Blu-ray of course because it's a classic. If a movie is a classic I'll consider buying the Blu-ray version of it. With that said can we get "House Party 3" on Blu-ray, Blu-ray makers? Please? I would like that classic for my collection. Bernie Mac taught us things in that movie. Anyway, As Jeff Spicoli, a hard worker of finding the easy way out of hard work because he's smart, falls out of van full of smoke (or happiness) and continues to show all of us how to be an upstanding citizen, student, and philosopher, it occurred to me at that moment. I, Benny Rodriguez, wanted to be a Lucas Bro. What does a classic film such as "Fast Times At Ridgemont High" have to do with the twin comedy duo Lucas Bros? Who the fuck knows. I was high while watching the movie and said "I think life would be pretty cool if I was a Lucas Bro." A lot of moments in life cant be explained. I guess that moment was one of them. 

I heard of The Lucas Bros when friends of mine told me to check out the show Lucas Bros Moving Co. First and foremost thank god the episodes were only 10 minutes because that means shit gets straight to the point and packs a bunch of funny shit in a short amount of time. I'm not sure if the Lucas Bros were thinking the exact same thing or it could be they're lazy like me and said fuck making episodes 22-24 minutes, lets just ease up on the workload. They seem like smart guys so I'm going to assume they made it 10 minutes to do as little work as possible because they're lazy which is genius. Hard work is a drag. I watched the show and it was basically me watching my personality and demeanor in animated form. 

Here are some reasons why I want to be an honorary Lucas Bro and how the Lucas Bro way is important in this juncture of my life. 

HOODIES ARE COZY

I can't really dress at all. I don't know fashion or have ASAP Rocky-esque fashion sense.. I just know what colors match, basically shit I learned in preschool. I have the fashion sense of Seth Rogen in Judd Apatow movies. Graphic tee here. Flannel shirt or hoodie there. A pair of Vans. I'm complete. I dress to be cozy and wear clothes I'd be comfortable in taking a nap in. Hoodies are the best clothes to take regular naps or naps on the go in. It's all the Lucas Bros wear. It's all I wear also. They wore hoodies inside suit jackets on Jimmy Fallon. I never seen that before. They have paved the way for me to be formal but cozy all at once. It's the tag team champions of clothing combinations. It screams "I'm here to be GQ and hit the dank simultaneously." I figure becoming a Lucas Bro wearing hoodies majority of my life would be a prerequisite. No problem. I wear hoodies everyday because they're cozy and versatile. Little to no transition for me in this department. 

RISKS FOR PASSION

The Lucas Bros originally wanted to be lawyers. One went to NYU the other went to Duke for law school. Being a lawyer is some serious shit. It rarely looks fun unless you're Saul Goodman from "Better Call Saul" and "Breaking Bad" or Lionel Hutz from "The Simpsons." One could argue that both of those lawyer jobs looked stressful as fuck also. Well maybe Maxine Shaw from "Living Single" made being a lawyer look fun. She just ate all her friends food and cracked jokes on the distinguished Kyle Barker everyday. Keith Lucas dropped out of law school with only one week left to finish and then convinced his twin brother Kenny Lucas to drop out of law school also and they both decided to put a plan in place and pursue comedy careers. They both could've finished law school and have a law degree to fall back on. The week of finals of their final year they decide to leave school. You know how much faith and testicular fortitude (as the great Mick Foley would say) you have to have in yourself to make a decision like that? They only had a week until they got their degrees. Not years. A week. There was no plan b. There was no security blanket. There was nothing to fall back on. They had the mentality that this HAS to work and it WILL work. I have trouble trying to explain to people the risks I'm taking and future risks I plan to take on my journey to become a writer. No one will understand. Some people have trouble trying to leave their jobs with shitty pay. The Lucas Bros left a high paying CAREER. A good career to do something they're more passionate about. I can't do anything but respect that. People who take risks and execute their plans to be able to do something they love and enjoy is admirable. 

MARIJUANA IS THE CENTER OF JOY & SUCCESS 

I wish I could go to my old elementary school. It's no longer open but if I could go or find any of my old teachers I want to personally thank them for never giving up on me but also shame them for their marijuana shaming they subjected me to with the D.A.R.E program. As a child they made weed seem as evil as Adolf Hitler or Hans Gruber in "Die Hard." So I never touched the weed throughout my teenage years. I was so afraid that I would actually fail at life if I smoked or ingested marijuana. Well here's the plot twist. I've kind of failed at life so far without it. So my teachers kind of had a part in my failures. What does your precious D.A.R.E program has to say about that now? It fed me lies about weed. Weed is the most positive substance ever. You just want to be positive and relaxed while smoking marijuana. Once I got introduced to edibles. Life isn't as serious and un-fun anymore. It's enjoyable. It's easy going. I go with the flow instead of against it. I got my priorities in order and watch a lot more "Hey Arnold" and "Parks and Recreation." My writing has evolved. I think I could've been a millionaire and graduated college at 18 if I had used marijuana sooner. Instead I turned to Alcohol before weed. Alcohol sucks. These days I only drink maybe 1 drink and I'm done. Being drunk is not awesome because I feel like shit afterwards. Weed does not do that. The Lucas Bros were late marijuana users also. You think it's a coincidence that as soon as they started smoking trees their last year in law school they said fuck this shit and lets do comedy? Nope. The trees spoke to the Lucas Bros and they started grinding towards their goal happy and high. They smoke a lot of weed and they have stated it was part of their success. It's the Lucas Bros way and who wouldn't want to be apart of that? You can be very productive and smoke weed. Don't let society lie to you. You just have to do it at key times. 

WE COULD START A WRESTLING CREW

If added as an honorary Lucas Bro. We could start an N.W.O group. The original N.W.O had 3 members. Hollywood Hogan, Kevin Nash, and Scott Hall. Boom. We takeover Hollywood and the streets. Suits get in our way we terrorize conference rooms, drop some promos talking shit, execute a couple leg drops, bully people to put us on more networks, and spray paint N.W.O on the back of their expensive suits. I know there is some smart ass out there saying "But Benny, there's already a 3rd Lucas Bro, his name is Carlton." Ahhhh my genius buddy. You think Benny comes unprepared? If Carlton is the 3rd member we just say fuck the N.W.O and start, you guessed it. The Hart Foundation. Except we'd be 4 Bret Hart's and we'd all get our own personal pairs of Bret The Hitman Hart shades and wear them during all business deals and meetings for good luck. As if we fucking need luck. We have Bret Hart shades. Luck doesn't matter if we have Bret "The Hitman" Hart shades. Those same shades helped him defeat the evil Yokozuna at Wrestlemania X for the title. He lost against Owen that night too but the shades knew there was a bigger purpose (We'd catch him at SummerSlam though). We're good money out here in these streets. I'll pass on the matching leather jackets though. I'll just take a hoodie. 

HANGING WITH ILANA GLAZER

The Lucas Bros hangout with Ilana Glazer and that's pretty cool. Broad City is a show I watch quite a bit. Haven't watched Season 3 yet because I want to binge watch it all at once so I can have my laughs in bunches and high. I want to be a Lucas Bro so I can hang with Ilana. Play video games with Ilana. Smoke weed with Ilana. Eat snacks with Ilana. Actually, let me cut the bullshit. I want to fuck Ilana Glazer. I'm one step closer to that goal if I'm a Lucas Bro. 

PUT THE WORK IN TO EARN YOUR LAZINESS 

The Lucas Bros give off a vibe that they worked hard to get where they are today but they're lazy. If you look at all their work everything is kind of centered around just being chill. Not working too hard. Just being comfortable. Going with the flow. One of my goals is to work hard now so I don't have to work as hard later. I want to earn my laziness like the Lucas Bros. Right now almost all of America go to terrible jobs every week and do a shitload of work for 8-12 hours and get vastly underpaid for it. Currently that is me. I can't be a Lucas Bro doing pointless shit like that every week. My plan now is to get paid a lot of money doing the least amount of work. Politician's basically do that shit. Why can't I? I'm seriously writing my ass off so I can chill a lot more in the future. Take all my money and pay all my bills years ahead of time. You know how great naps would be or chilling on your couch binge watching movies from the 80's would be if you're not worrying that your lights might be cut off or if you're not worrying that your rent might not get paid. You can be lazy with no fear or no worries. Enjoy the fuck out of life and get high. Just like the Lucas Bros. 

- BENNY