A POLITE REVIEW: UPSCALE WITH PRENTICE PENNY

Issa Rae tweeted about this show and when I seen who’s show it was I was like “Aye that’s homie who was the first person to show my blog love when I did the “Insecure” recaps.” Off G.P I had to return the love and check out his show “Upscale With Prentice Penny” 

The show is about Prentice upgrading his lifestyle all across the board and viewers learning in the process also. Oh and we hear Johnny Gill sing throughout the show on this journey to the upscale lifestyle. It’s random as fuck. Especially at the beginning when Johnny Gill’s voice was super deep and he sounded like that tall goofy looking nigga from “Everybody Loves Raymond.” It scared me. 

Prentice learns about the upscale lifestyle on the romantic side on this episode and said sadly he’s only learned about love from 90’s R&B videos. Actually that’s not bad it’s actually great. You learned from Jodeci and Color Me Badd. Sure one of the niggas in Color Me Badd looked like a high school art teacher mixed with Kenny G wearing a turtleneck but “I Wanna Sex You Up” is a jam. 

Okay lets begin. 

CANDLE GAME LITTY 

Prentice had the right idea here. Women love candles. It’s a underrated tool for a man to have in the crib. Get some upscale candles and Light a bunch of candles and have the room looking like the “Billie Jean” music video and smelling like the ocean and cinnamon toast crunch. I wasn’t outta my league during this segment. I fucks with candles. 

Homie said the candles can burn for 3-4 hours if I’m not mistaken. I’m with Prentice on the request for 17 minute candle. I’m one foot in and one foot out of the washed life so I’ll need about 25 minutes before my leg cramp up like a old nigga hooping at the park. 

If you wanna last longer fellas. Just drink Henny. You’ll buy yourself 8 extra hours. it’s basically Viagra for real niggas without the crazy side effects unless you include becoming a father a crazy side effect. 

They made a candle out of smells that reminded Prentice of his trip to Jamaica. All I kept thinking was “Damn homie you don’t have no jerk chicken fragrance oil?” I know they had some fire smelling jerk chicken in Jamaica. I’d make that into a candle real quick. 

I always wanted to surprise my girl by lighting a bunch of candles in the bathroom and all around a jacuzzi tub and she just walks in and sees me bankhead bouncing in the bubbles while “Romeo & Juliet” by Sylk E.Fyne is playing. Now that I know more about candles, thanks to Prentice I’m one step closer to my dream. 

 

IN BETWEEN THE SHEETS 

It's Isley Brothers time. It’s time to get the bed upscale. My bed sheets are weak. I gotta step my shit up after seeing this. So I’m hitting the store this weekend to upgrade. I want my sheets buttery soft like Martin’s “MyMommaBiscuits” I need the 6 hunna thread count sheets. I’m already knowing I can’t afford the Italian no thread count sheets. That’s for the “Shut The Fuck Up” money folks Dave Chappelle told us about. 

When the woman in the store was explaining the pillows on the bed I was astounded as fuck. She was explaining that shit like that fancy ass silverware you see at upscale dinner parties. You know the shit you think is a spoon but it’s not a normal spoon to rich folk? It’s like a soup spoon or some shit like that. Yeah that kind of silverware. 

THE JAMMY’S 

The bed officially set so now we gotta get the jammy’s on point. I’m a simple nigga so I want my pajamas on some Ralph Tresvant performing “Yo Baby Yo” in House Party 2 type shit. Prentice was trying on some smooth playa like jammy’s. Very old school joints. One of those pajama fits he tried on looked like he was fresh off Crenshaw C-walkin. 

What’s up with that lounge wear doe?? I needs that on deck. Sweatpants with the button up on the front? That means I can cross off a goal on my bucket list which is smash my girl while still wearing my sweatpants and then slide to the corner store for some Honey buns and some lemonade. 

CHAMPAGNE PAPI 

Now Prentice said all Johnny Gill has to do is sing “My My My” and pour champagne and it’s on and cracking. Well Prentice all you have to do is play “Lady Dijour” by Johnny Gill and pour some champagne and I guarantee ladies drawls are gonna come off themselves like how Marty McFly’s shoes laced themselves up in "Back To The Future.” Trust me. 

Prentice goes to a vineyard to learn about the bubbly and what kind of champagne he should buy to set the mood for his lady. I learned some interesting shit here. The champagne Dom Perignon was named after a monk. That’s crazy! A monk is responsible for rappers pouring champagne on your favorite models like Dame Dash did in the “Big Pimpin” video. Amazing! 

Just like Prentice explained I always buy champagne that I’ve heard of. I’m like “Well I think this the shit Rick Ross was talking about on his song so I’ll buy this.” We also learn what to look for on the labels so we know what type of champagne we’re buying. Like I just stated I’ve always bought Moet and kept it pushing because it’s all I know. I always viewed champagne as a 40 ounce that wears one of those tuxedo t-shirts. It’s always been fancy beer to me but after watching this segment and learning what I’ve learned. I feel different about it. 

I didn’t know drinking Champagne in Champagne glasses actually doesn’t allow the champagne to open up. I’ve never drank out of champagne glass in my life. I’ve always drank straight out the bottle like I just won a championship. I’ll never waste money on champagne glasses after learning this. This show is the shit because it just saved me money.

After the lessons in upscale living Prentice learns new upscale tactics he shares his experience with random people on the street and I thought that was really cool. Sharing free game with people is always some unselfish dope shit. He wants everybody to get better in life. 

Overall I’m really glad I watched this show and I will be tuned in every week. Watch “Upscale With Prentice Penny” on TruTV every Tuesday. Learn something youngblood! Peace!