ROXANNE, ROXANNE REVIEW

A St.Louis native blessed you with this movie. You're welcome. 

Little Roxanne got that Anton Chigurgh No Country For Old Men hairdo. 

Get you a friend like Roxanne friend who keeps chanting “The Champ Is Here!” Repeatedly. I want someone to chant for me everywhere I go saying “He’s the most ignorant writer and he’s still better than all of you!” 

Seeing the beginning of this movie and seeing the 5 elements of hip hop and how those aren’t a big deal anymore saddens me. It's why the culture so fucked up. 

This nigga ain’t say he loved Roxanne momma. Off top I know he ain’t shit.

Rappers had to actually follow you to spam you back in the day. This movie makes me realize I’m thankful for the Internet even though it doesn’t give a fuck about me. 

This nigga in Roxanne momma crib selling dreams, drinking hooch with a trash lining, rapist goatee, and crackhead knuckles. You not getting no house sis. 

If you have the deposit money then why in the fuck are you giving it to another man who can’t say he love you? Why would you put your fate in someone hands like that. Makes no sense. Dick got Roxanne momma delusional. 

Good ol M.C Shan. The man who took the most ground breaking L in hip-hop history. 

When you come back home and you weren’t supposed to be out and that door locked I swear your stomach drops to your ankles. You’ll knock on the door delicate as fuck praying your sibling will hear it. 

Just like I thought. Nigga finessed her outta 20,000. That nigga took a train to Jersey with that money, bought some cocaine and found a white woman to control like Rick James. 

Roxanne momma don’t need liquor. She needs sense. I see where this is going. She’s gonna be an alcoholic. 

Roxanne out her boosting. Only people I know that boost are women that love Yo Gotti and wear Victoria Secret Pink like it’s Balenciaga. 

They were outside all day only to be disappointed by they pops. All they wanted was some Baskin Robbins with the sprinkles. This movie pushing the Men Are Trash narrative heavy. Since it’s true I’ll allow it. 

“You don’t ever wait for no motherfucker” Wise words from their momma but I have a feeling Roxanne gone do the opposite. 

Roxanne almost getting caught boosting was like the beginning of a B.E.T movie. Should’ve had the freeze frame while she was running. “Now I know you wondering how I got here.” 

$50 a week for rent in New York comes with a heavy price. Don’t believe the hype Roxanne. 

Roxanne out here hustling like Ace Boogie. 

Right on schedule. Tone plotting to smash. Family my ass. Nigga saw the cheeks, took a snort of coke and lost his mind. Poor girl. She was minding her business drinking Kool-aid. Again Men are Trash. 

Roxanne momma getting worse and worse mentally and physically as the movie goes on. Glad they showing that and even then I’d still smash Nia long during this downward spiral. 

Roxanne really dropped off laundry and did a song in one take in her first studio session and dipped and ended up on the radio. Legend. 

Rap money slow money and it’s janky as fuck. So many people to pay. Remember what ya momma said Roxanne. 

I’m bout to start handing girls notes in the club with the check yes or no options. We gotta restore order in this fucking country got dammit. 

Bruh Cross a cool 35 messing with a 15/16 year old. Niggas were sickos back then. Matching mink coats or not this nigga a pedo.  

Even though this nigga Cross a nasty nigga the fact he letting a chick drive his car while The Georgette’s “Would You Rather” playing is quite G. That nigga crazy and dangerous. 

I dunno where I’m at time wise in the movie but I feel sorry for Roxanne. Everybody around her ain’t shit. All the adults trash. 

Damn that shy rapping kid went on to create “Illmatic” ain’t that some shit. 

Doug gave her Benz and she put it in her manager name. You can tell that manager ain’t shit. This movie predictable as fuck.

Marley was right. Can’t be taking gifts from people. Especially in the rap business. Niggas will hold it against you. 

Aye this nigga Cross is not stable. It won’t be long with that nigga and Shan was right to warn her about him. Shan and Marley the only honest ones around her. 

The performance with Biz was dope. There’s a lot less music in this movie than I expected. 

“I just get a little possessive over you” is gonna turn into "I just get a little domestic violent over you" if she don’t run away from this nigga. Huge red flag. 

Roxanne manager a grade a hoe. Stealing from a 16 year old. 

Cross a junkie and Roxanne momma is correct that nigga trifling as fuck and don’t chase after no man. Nia Long is killing her role as Peggy. 

Lord help this child and place hands on her before this man does. She said she wanna move to Jersey with him after how he just handled her momma. She 16 so she don’t know no better but still. 

Already beating her ass. Damn shame. 

Damn her jaw was fucked up in that picture and that’s why she wasn’t smiling? I remember that picture! That’s crazy. 

“I only hit you cause I love you.” Sadly that quote is STILL being used by piece of shit men TODAY. 

The situation not funny cause Cross could’ve killed that girl so the domestic violence shit I won’t joke about but Roxanne really broke up with that nigga by saying “It’s Quits” I’M HOLLERING! She said “It’s quits” like she was a angry White Boy Scout member in a treehouse. 

This scene in the hospital is touching. Good dialogue from both actresses. Great scene. I’m touched. 

This nigga really selling his son back to his momma for 10,000. Roxanne better go kidnap her child from that coke head. Damn I might wanna punch Mahershala in the face in real life just because he’s playing such a fucking scumbag. In the future when we meet I'm a just ask "Why you sell your son like a Grand Prix with 90,000 miles on it?"

Roxanne must be an angel cause any normal woman would’ve took Tone up on his offer and killed that nigga Cross. 

Little Nas has no idea he gone marry Kelis and create Ether. Ain’t that some shit?

This movie ended awkward as fuck. 

I wanted more insight into the music especially The Juice Crew but I guess they just wanted to focus on Chante the human over Roxanne the rapper. At least this shit wasn't a TV movie. Thank God for that. Roxanne is the original Queen of Hip-Hop glad her story was told and maybe younger women learn from her journey and listen to the music that made her a legend. 

Movie was okay. 3 outta 5 fruit snacks. Give us a Nap biopic. It's time. 

Peace.