5 WOMEN YOU NEED TO EXPERIENCE

Per request from a reader of my blog that’s been in a relationship for a while and is now single back on the dating scene, I’m gonna give you the 5 women you need to experience when you’re dating. I’ll try to keep this short cause I’m watching “Steins Gate” and this shit is getting fire and I don’t give a fuck about writing until I finish it.

THE COUGAR 

This woman is evil but they’re the most honest and upfront woman on this list. If you young and have the chance to fuck with a bad ass 40 year old and older woman then nigga handle your business with Angela Bassett bruh. Listen to me when I tell you this. This woman plays no fucking games. There is no attention war. There is no mixed feelings about shit. This woman is straight to the point. There’s hardly any texting with a real cougar. She drops the location and you pull up and that’s it. Cougars invented “Big Dick Energy.” She wants what she wants. If you give it to her she’ll fuck with you. If you don’t she’ll let you know that it’s over and not to contact her.

Your feelings do not matter to her. She will invite you to her house, feed you, get you drunk off wine, get you addicted to her pussy, and pretend you don’t even fucking exist 3 seconds after you bust a nut. She’ll fuck you until 4am and she has to be up at 5am for work. She’ll wake yo ass up and tell you to get out and as you’re walking out you’ll see her grown ass kids getting ready for school and they’ll pretend you don’t even exist because in the cougar world you don’t. You’re just a dick appointment. That’s it. She don’t want you. She wants some nigga named Donald who drives a Tesla and ain’t wore sneakers in 2 decades. Nigga she don’t want you. You’re a pawn. You just get all the good fucking and wine outta the situation until she feels you’re not useful anymore. Just enjoy that vintage coochie until Donald get bored of fucking all the other 40 and up bitches besides her and marries her in Vegas or something. Just enjoy the ride. 

THE ART HOE 

Art hoes hella weird. They do weird shit like sprinkle crystal dust on ya dick, draw random shit in their sketch books under oak trees, and rain dance in your crib but they always put you onto shit like cool and interesting documentaries and all types of artists you never heard of. They’ll read your palms and talk about energy all day. Lisa Bonet is their mother in their head. Their lives usually be in fucking shambles or their mind is in fucking shambles or both but despite that they’re really cool to date. They love their high waisted pants more than they love you. You gone always itch and get mosquito bites when you date them cause you gone be taking pictures with them in grass, flower beds, and trees. Nigga you gone be fucking nature too. They cool as fuck though. Date them and learn your birth chart and chakras and all that shit you don’t understand.

THE POPULAR ATTENTION WHORE 

The shorty that needs attention 24/7. She doesn’t give a fuck where it’s coming from. Just as long as she gets it. I’m an attention whores worst nightmare only because I don’t pay attention to people forreal. I pay attention to food. I match energy so if you pay attention to me I’ll give you attention. If you ignore me I’ll ignore you too. I don’t give a fuck because I’m me and I entertain myself but dating a woman like this tests your security because she has plenty of opportunities out there so you can’t be a weak nigga. She won’t give you the same attention she craves from you all the time but when she does it’s a big deal cause her whole life she’s been seen as the prize and popular. Every nigga wants to be with her. She’s basically a socialite. Everybody knows this girl so everywhere you go you just gone be seen as “Some random nigga.” You have to be confident cause everybody is gonna think that this woman is outta your league. You should NEVER think any woman is outta your league. Regular woman or Naomi Campbell you need to always be yourself.

Niggas gone be sneak dissing you left and right and if she ever shows you her DM’s. Watch how many niggas gone be calling you lame in those messages. Niggas you never met in your life calling you all types of bitches and weak ass niggas. If you not a insecure nigga this situation not a big deal. You good. You can gain so many connections by dating this girl because she knows every fucking body. So use that to your advantage and be cool. Dating this woman inflates your ego and every young guy needs to experience that. You’ll realize attention from people who you don’t care about don’t mean much and one day she’ll realize that too. It’s a big learning experience. 

THE INTROVERT SHORTY

If she’s a introvert you’ve hit the fucking lotto. One, SHE DOESN’T FUCKING NEED YOU! So you should be saying CHING CHING to yourself right now cause you ain’t coming out a lot of money. Two, you’re dating a true creative and that’s always fun. Three, if a Introvert chooses you that means they really want you around. They really mean that shit cause they don’t just fuck with any or everybody. They keep to themselves all the time. They’re really low-key and not really about being seen. They’re the female version of Ace in Paid N Full. They say wassup to who they want to at the function and then they ready to go back home and chill and be in their own space. They will give you your space because they want some space too so they will not nag or annoy the fuck outta you. The most important thing about dating a woman that’s a true Introvert and not a social media Introvert is that she loves herself more than she loves you and that’s very critical. They will not fuck with NOBODY if they don’t love themselves first. They’re very in tune with themselves and that’s healthy as fuck.  

THE HOE 

I’m not talking bout shorties who be on twitter tweeting nasty shit to impress people. Nah those are amateurs. You need to date the real deal. I’m talking bout the shorty that feels in her soul that if a dick ain’t in her mouth or coochie not on her face then life just doesn’t have any meaning. You can’t even really date hoes. You just buckle up and go along for the ride in their world. These are the women who aren’t nasty to try and impress you. They nasty for themselves. Nasty is just who they are. Just try and find the best version of Jazmine Cashmere as you can and have fun. If she can make you say “Damn this bitch is filthy” in a good way, that means you got a top shelf hoe. The things that almost all women go “Eww” to…… she does in her sleep and that’s why she always gets what she wants and she’s free. She can keep a nigga if she wanted to but hoe life is more important and I’m not mad at her for believing that. 

THE BBW 

There’s some good pussy under that gut young buck. Don’t sleep on her. I’m telling you right now a BBW will change your whole mothafucking life. They love HARD and are easy to read. They emotions are on their sleeve. First off that’s automatic heavyweight titties you gone be dealing with. I’m talking titties you can hide under. Those potential “Damn she may need a reduction” type titties but you selfish and you don’t want her to so you pretend to care about her future back problems. She can cook too. You ain’t never starving nigga and she can cook in every style. They’re cooking skills are a LeBron James stat sheet. They don’t give a fuck about you going to the gym or looking like a nigga off “Insecure” ass nigga. They love you for you. When they mad they eat good. When they happy they eat good. You always winning. And last but not least they some FREAKS

If you a young nigga out here. Put each of these on your roster and prosper.  Okay back to “Steins Gate.”

Bye nigga.

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