IF ZODIAC SIGNS WERE NICKTOONS

THIS THE PART I SAY “YOU KNOW WHAT THE FUCK GOING ON.”

ARIES = TOMMY PICKLES 

Nothing or nobody can make Tommy Pickles sit still. He had his screwdriver and he was out in the streets immediately. Tommy doesn’t feel right if he’s chilling. Tommy thrived on adventure, being in the action. He wanted to take his friends to see things they’ve never seen before. To have the best experience they’ve ever had in their baby lives. This is Aries behavior without a doubt. They are out here. Whether it’s working or turning up they’re out here. 

TAURUS = REGGIE ROCKET 

Reggie Rocket is an intelligent, stubborn, dependable, and independent girl. Without Reggie the gang falls apart. She’s the leader. Otto is the child prodigy and the most skillful but Reggie’s maturity and persistence keeps the crew in line. Now Reggie is by no means lazy and eats any and everything and takes 5767658 naps per week but she exhibits a lot of traits Tauruses have. Even when a Taurus is irresponsible they’re still dependable. Arguing with Reggie Rocket is pointless. She’s not folding. Her opinion is her opinion. Even if she’s wrong she’s not folding. I almost picked Harold from Hey Arnold for Taurus since that nigga always sleepy, eating, spilling popsicle juice and crumbs on his shirt, eating in his bed but Reggie Rocket personality lined up better. 

GEMINI = OTTO ROCKET 

Right behind his sister as a Gemini is Otto Rocket. I love but hate Otto. He’s a jerk but when he comes through for people he does it well. He’s also unapologetic about who he is which is really the coolest thing about Otto. He won’t ever change or pretend to be someone he’s not. Just like a Gemini Otto is very versatile. He’s one of those people who thrives at anything he tries even if he hates it. He’s a natural. Super confident. Otto is constantly wanting to be on the move meaning the next big event so it’s hard to get him to settle on one thing.

Gemini can be super two faced so as in Rocket Power you’ve seen Otto cheat against his best friend Twister. Do sneaky shit behind Reggie’s back. Completely shit on Sam. Gemini just can’t help themselves. Some are worse than others. They’re shit talkers. They thrive on arguments. It’s annoying as fuck. They’re really hot and cold. The best way to describe them is bi-polar but I don’t wanna use that term cause mental illness is serious. My best friend is a Gemini so I know them like I know titties. I think he’s the only one of the few Gemini I like in the world. 

CANCER = DOUG FUNNIE 

Holy fuck this is the most emotional, insecure, sociopathic nigga in Nicktoons history but you love him. Doug is considerate as fuck like a Cancer. He’s really caring even to people like Roger Klotz. There have been many times where he should’ve been like fuck that green bean faced ruffles chip haired ass boy but he’d help him out. He’s just super friendly. Doug is ultra insecure and he’s really talented but you have to constantly remind him that he’s great. If you watch Doug you know the one thing he fears is rejection. He literally has nightmares about rejection. It took him years to tell Patti that he liked her because he feared rejection. Cancers are the same way. They don’t like to put themselves out there like that. Cancers don’t make the first move. Ever. 

LEO = GERALD JOHANSSEN

Confidence, Confidence, Confidence. Commands and controls the room. Very sure on where they’re going and how they’re going to get there. This is Gerald from Hey Arnold. Class President. Coolest kid in school. Talented. Proud. Gerald is the life of the party like a Leo. Have you ever been to a party with a Leo? Just watch them talk to one person then blink then you’ll see 4 more people around them laughing at their conversation.

Nobody hates Gerald. He has the charm to get everyone to like him just like a Leo. He’s the friendliest. Everybody knows Gerald. He’s a go getter. When a Leo sets a goal it’s most likely going to get accomplished. Also it’s hard to break a Leo’s mood. They don’t let petty things effect them. Gerald is the epitome of cool. So are Leo’s. 

VIRGO = SUSIE CARMICHAEL

Susie is really perfect and organized. She has OCDish tendencies. That’s why her and Angelica are arch enemies because Susie is the complete opposite of Angelica. Angelica is messy. Susie is neat. Angelica is chaos. Susie is very particular and analytical. Susie has a lot of Virgo traits. Virgo is usually one of the most hated signs mainly because of how perfection is everything to them. So while I don’t understand why people dislike Beyonce from a spectator standpoint I could see how a person who is around Beyonce consistently could get tired of her.

Susie is super positive and generally the Virgo’s in my life are really positive I don’t get too many negative vibes from them. Susie is also good at everything like Virgo’s. Which is why Angelica doesn’t like Susie because Susie is good at everything. A Virgo’s definition of failure and my definition of failure are totally different. What’s good enough to me is completely inexcusable in the world of a Virgo. They get everything they want. They’re very head strong like Susie. 

LIBRA = CATDOG 

This is actually interesting because the more I looked at CatDog the more I saw Libra traits in both of them. Cat is very indecisive. Dog is very open. Cat is extremely witty. Dog is very funny. Dog is very dependent like Libras. Cat does not like confrontation. Conflict is not his thing. Dog ignores the fuck outta people. Dog is also really loyal. Both Cat and Dog are pretty selfish in their own right. CatDog literally have almost all the Libra traits. Libra is one of the most simple signs. 

SCORPIO = GINGER FOUTLEY

Ginger is extremely emotional. She’s very deep and passionate about the things she loves whether it’s writing or her friends. She’s very creative and private. Sometimes she wants to be noticed. Any other time she is in the shadows and happy with being there. She questions everything and she’s often pretty opinionated. That is Scorpio all the way. When Ginger gets pissed she gets pissed. She stands up for what she believes in and up against anyone. Ginger is a very sweet girl and she can get along with anybody. I wonder if Ginger became a hoe. Scorpios are hoes.

SAGITTARIUS = ROCKO 

Sagittarius really reminded me of Rocko because of how nice and giving they are. If you date a Sagittarius you typically get treated like royalty. Same if you’re friends with one they will give you the world without expecting anything in return. They have huge hearts. They also fall for people fast as fuck. They’re also a nightmare if they get upset which takes a lot to get them upset but when they do it’s like a volcano. Rocko’s temper is the same way. If you piss Rocko off it’s gonna be a problem cause he’s gonna be extremely straight forward and has no filter. Sagittarius are usually pretty timid and non confrontational like Rocko unless it’s something very serious and that’s when the temper comes out.

Rocko is sort of adventurous like a Sagittarius. He’s always doing activities. Rocko is very smart, open minded he’ll try anything once and likes intellectual conversations like Sagittarius. A lot of my friends are Sagittarius. At times they can be inconsistent and getting them to open up is just as bad as a Scorpio. Actually it’s worse. I’m a Scorpio. I won’t open up if I don’t know you but once I feel you not a bitch or a snake I’ll share my emotions. Sagittarius will shy away from this at all costs. You ever see Rocko share much of his emotions? Nope. 

CAPRICORN = PATTI MAYONNAISE 

Patti is really disciplined like Capricorn’s. She amazingly gifted at every sport and academically and you need extreme discipline to do what Patti does. She’s very ambitious as we seen when she made the baseball team under disguise she was cut because of toxic masculinity and she started her own baseball team and challenged the school team. That’s some ambitious shit. She’s obsessed with her goals. Patti is the most mature and sensible character out of all the kids on the show. A lot of characters look up to her and confide in her for advice.

Patti is also really stubborn and moody like a Capricorn especially when it comes to her competitiveness. That’s the one thing about Patti is that her competitive nature is good and bad and when you’re competing against her you don’t know what personality you’re going to get. I almost put Helga Pataki instead of Patti because of Helga’s pessimism and her obsession with getting intel on Arnold. Capricorn’s obsess over people they like and will know your blood type, social security number, and what you’re going to come back as when you’re reincarnated. Helga just isn’t ambitious with everything she does like Patti is. 

AQUARIUS = ANGELICA PICKLES

Easiest comparison. Spoiled. The world revolves around Angelica and Angelica only. She wants attention badly then will tell you to stop paying attention to her. They’re super friendly but will tell you they move alone. You’d literally see them post a pic with 6 people with a caption that says “My day ones” then the next day they’re talking about how they’re alone and why they move solo. They have extreme personalities. Everything Aquarius do is extreme. There is no middle ground it’s either 0 or 100. For example have you ever been around a drunk Aquarius? They’re either super reckless or really fucking mean. They complain all the fucking time like Angelica. Like they never stop complaining about the same shit. Go to an Aquarius Facebook or Twitter and I’ll bet any amount of money they complain about the same shit twice a month. Literally word for word. They can’t let shit go or chill. There is no such thing as taking the higher road with Aquarius. They’ll confront any issues but again it’s on a 0 or 100 basis. They’ll confront issues with half the truth and just assume the other half like Angelica does.

Now Angelica is really smart I’ll give Aquarius that. They aren’t dumb. They’re really smart but they do and say the DUMBEST shit and it’s amazing. Angelica is also inventive. She always invent new ways to scheme or manipulate her cousin Tommy and his friends. Just like Aquarius will invent a new way to make your life a living hell. Angelica also has a detached personality. She only has attachment to her parents but that’s only if she wants things. She’s only attached to cookies and materialism. She’s super aloof like an Aquarius. She will be very distant then blame you for not checking up on her and say she never had anyone in her corner like a true Aquarius. Last zodiac post I did I was criticized for dismissing and not writing about Aquarius. Well the only time I thought Aquarius were awesome is the Aquarius women I slept with. They nasty nasty which is great cause I am too but outside of that we’re complete opposites. And that’s the tea. 

PISCES = ARNOLD SHORTMAN

Arnold is a pure Pisces. Arnold lives in his own world like a Pisces. He’s really creative. Very sensitive. Just like a Pisces. He’s very intelligent. He views the world a surface deeper than the normal kid. Arnold has to be the most intuitive cartoon character I’ve ever seen. The one thing about Arnold that can be annoying just like Pisces is that living in their own world they tend to not realize shit is what it is. Some shit isn’t fantasy and they place it over reality in moments where it’s not needed. It’s difficult for Pisces to accept reality. He can also be very gullible like Pisces because of his optimism. Arnold is kinda lazy too. He really likes to chill and if you had his room you would be lazy too. 

Peace 

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