A POLITE REVIEW: AVENGERS ENDGAME
First. I need all 22 movies in a 4K collector set with behind the scene footage, interviews, and commentary. Go ahead and drop that shit for Christmas. I’m getting that shit. Don’t give a fuck if it’s a rack. It’s getting bought.
Second. My final 5 IN ORDER
Winter Soldier
Infinity War
Endgame
The Avengers
Thor Ragnarok
My final Top 5 Marvel films of the first phase. Endgame pushes the first Iron Man out of my top 5. What a bittersweet moment this is.
So let’s get into what you came for. A spoiler review.
It took us 11 years to get to this point. We’re finally here. Endgame. You know what this shit is about so let’s jump right into what I liked about this film.
I liked the setup. Now this kinda hurt the movie in a way because it literally took an hour to put everything in play and get the ball rolling but it was NECESSARY. Could this movie have been 2 hours and a half? Yes. Easily. There’s some scenes that could’ve been removed and you wouldn’t care. It’s like the first 2 episodes of the final season of Game Of Thrones. They used the first 2 episodes to set the stage for the biggest battle ever. It’s filler but it’s necessary filler. Endgame does the same. It’s really a slow burn for the first hour.
I was a fan of the five year time jump. When Cap says “Let’s go get this son of a bitch” I’m like whoa this is early. This is extremely early. What’s the catch?” I knew Time Travel was going to be a thing because of the time stone. I usually DETEST time traveling plots in anything else but in this film it makes sense. There’s two things in storytelling you usually always wanna stay away from that’s time travel and amnesia. They’re lazy as fuck as plots. Anyway after Thor beheads Thanos all I could think about is how will this be reversed? The plot of having the time jump was great. It surprised me.
The revisiting of the old films. GENIUS. They literally took the plot from Back To The Future 2 where Marty had to go back in time and not be seen by himself in the past. So you seen Back To The Future Part 1 from a different angle and perspective. Endgame execute this PERFECTLY. They had to go back in time and find all the stones before Thanos found them and not fuck up the past timeline. All the scenes in New York were amazing. Captain America saying “Hail Hydra” was classic. Old Hulk was fucking hilarious in these scenes also. So once I seen this motivation and plot in place the movie sped up for me at that point.
Ant-man. Ant-man. Ant-man. Brilliant. Ant-man is the least liked in the MCU. I’ve always liked Ant-man. I liked his first film. The second film not so much. But I always thought he was the perfect type for the MCU. He was the MVP of the movie. If he never brought the quantum time leap theory. The Avengers would’ve lost. Shoutout to the rat that was crawling in his van that crawled over the buttons to bring him out of quantum space. He was hilarious throughout the whole film. The moment at the diner with Hulk and Hulk’s fans he was making fun of himself and saying “Nobody knows Ant-Man” was great writing. His referencing of Back To the Future was funny. “That’s America’s Ass” had me SCREAMING! Ant-Man had so many quotes and all of them landed. They didn’t feel forced. The jokes happened at the perfect time. They really took advantage of Paul Rudd’s personality and comedic presence at every moment they could and that was smart.
I loved Nebula in this movie. The times we’ve seen her in the Guardian series she would kind of kill the momentum of scenes but in Endgame I feel she had more purpose and that allowed me to empathize with her. She did a great job. She had so many important scenes.
The Stan Lee Cameo was so playa. I cheered with my whole theater. R.I.P to the legend. Wow what a moment.
I loved the scenes with Tony meeting his Father. As an adult I always wondered how conversations with my Grandma would be now if she hadn’t passed when I was 11. It’s different when you have your own perspective and you’re an adult. But You saw Tony get some clarity and really understand the type of man his father was. Very beautiful scene with him hugging his father.
Black Widow dying was very noble. She understood that her life is the most expendable. She has no family. No kids. She’s almost unknown. So her dying doesn’t screw anything up. Now this is interesting because a Black Widow movie was just announced. The only way they can get her back is they have to go talk to Mistress Death and give something else in return for her soul but the writers aren’t going that deep into the comics to do that. They could be making a prequel movie but why? That seems pointless or they could just recast a new Black Widow. Who knows.
The Final Fight. Where the fuck do I begin. The final fight made the airport fight in Civil War look like Mister Rogers Neighborhood. Cap, Tony, and Thor vs Thanos to kick it off was DELICIOUSO!!! I had to go Spanish on you niggas. Thanos was beating the shit outta these dudes. He got Iron Man the fuck outta there early. Thor literally got clobbered. You know how beat the fuck up you gotta get for me to use a word like Clobbered? Thor fat ass got smashed. Cap lasted the longest but the way Thanos destroyed his shield I thought this was the end for all 3 of these dudes. When T’Challa walked out like the baddest melaninated bitch in the universe I screamed so fucking loud. I don’t care bout his solo movie but T’Challa is still my guy.
EVERYBODY SHOWED UP READY TO FIGHT! EVERYBODY WE’VE WATCHED OVER A DECADE WAS READY. THIS WAS THE MOMENT WE BEEN WAITING FOR SINCE 2008! THEN WHEN CAP SAID “AVENGERS ASSEMBLE” I LOST MY SHIT!!!!!
We really saw dream matchups. Scarlet Witch vs Thanos was beastly. Captain Marvel vs Thanos was beastly. He head butted Captain Marvel and she didn’t even flinch then he took the power stone and knocked her Jon and Kate plus 8 haircut having ass across the screen on some Mortal Kombat shit. DELICIOUS!!!!!!!!
MY BOY SPIDER MAN CAME BACK CLEEEAAAAAAAN!!!!! SHOW MY FAVORITE HERO OF ALL TIME SOME GOT DAMN RESPECT!!!!!! Seeing Tony hug the shit outta Peter warmed my heart. Peter in a way is the new Tony Stark. He’s going to carry the next phase of the MCU.
When Cap caught Mjolnir I ALMOST LEFT THE THEATER!!!!! SUCH A CRAZY MOMENT!! HOLY FUCK!!!! Only a few people have ever lifted Thor’s hammer in the comics. This was huge. That might be the biggest highlight of the movie. Thor looked at Cap like a proud father when Cap summoned the lightning with the hammer.
Okay so the huge thing was Tony Stark dies. Coming into this I knew at least 2 people had to die. I assumed it would be Iron Man and Captain America. Instead it was Black Widow and Iron Man. Iron Man just made sense. Tony lived a full life and really wasn’t supposed to live as long as he did. I knew Iron Man was finished when I seen his daughter and when Ant-Man came to him with the Quantum theory. First we saw Tony and Pepper lived out their dream. Tony retires and they start a family. They got to live normally for 5 years. Two, Tony got to meet his father and connect with him. Three, Tony gets to hug Peter and it’s the first sign of emotion he shows to Peter at the most crucial moment in both their lives. Four, When Doctor Strange tells Tony “If I tell you the outcome then it won’t happen.” That was clear confirmation he was dying cause if Strange told Tony that Tony saves the universe but dies Tony may try to change the outcome and they will lose the war. There were no other options but that outcome. Everything in this film with Tony Stark was literally like a bucket list for Tony Stark. It was obvious he was going to die. That’s why I didn’t really have much emotion during his death scene. This girl next to me was crying crying. I get it though. It was a touching scene and it makes you realize that they brought it full circle. In the MCU Iron Man started it all and he finished it all. Remember when him and Cap was arguing in the first Avengers and Cap said Tony never puts himself on the line and always finds a way out for himself. Tony did the opposite and gave his life to save humanity.
Another huge event is Captain America. I liked the way Captain America went out. He didn’t really want to be a hero. He always wanted a normal life and he chose to live that normal life. He married Peggy and stayed the fuck out the way. Now here’s the crazy thing about what Cap did. By living a normal life he fucked up the timeline. He was supposed to go back, put all the stones back and not be seen. As Ant-Man said it’s not just time travel it’s a time heist. You have to sneak in the safe get the money and not trip the alarms. Cap did not do that. He married Peggy Carter and lived a normal life. Captain America never died in the minds of the people of S.S.R. Steve Rogers is alive. Now that’s HUGE. The timeline isn’t fixed. You could change the smallest thing in time travel and an entire universe is altered. He came from the future and married Peggy. The reason why that is huge is because Captain America’s presumed death is the reason why S.H.I.E.L.D exists. He’s the foundation of S.S.R which eventually turns into S.H.I.E.L.D. This changes everything for the MCU because now the writers are playing with house money. What is S.S.R’s and S.H.I.E.L.D’s motivation now that they know Captain America is alive? Cap’s death was the motivation but he’s alive in their timeline when he stayed behind. With the timeline being fucked up they can bring in whoever. The writers can say “Oh with Cap being alive they started experiments and helped create or recruited Wolverine.” So X-Men can now come in. Fantastic Four can now come in. What else did Captain America change when he went back in time? We don’t know so now the writers can write whatever they want. At first it would’ve been kinda difficult to bring in X-Men but now? The transition is easier and actually makes sense. This is big for the next phase for the MCU. Y’all don’t understand how bad I want Dr.Doom to be the next super villain. Thanos did his thing and his chapter is over. It’s Doom time.
I loved Thanos. He was much darker in this film. When he said he destroyed planets and it was never personal it was just business but told The Avengers I’m gonna enjoy fucking all of you up I was like “THAT’S WHAT THE FUCK I SIGNED UP FOR! THAT’S THE THANOS I KNOW!” Dude gave up on his dream and said “Fuck it. I tried to see half of you hoes. Now I’m just gonna kill all of you ungrateful sons of bitches.”
I liked that there was no post credit scene. It was the end of an era. This was “It.” No need for us to have a preview of what to expect outta the next phase. They could stop making Marvel movies forever and I’d be satisfied.
Okay the things I didn’t like. Actually most of it I wouldn’t say I disliked.
The Hulk/Bruce fusion. It was just like Beast in X-Men and I’m fine with that. But Hulk wasn’t in the fight. Last year we saw the nastiest 1 on 1 fade in MCU history. Thanos beat the shit outta Hulk and Hulk bitched up for the entirety of Infinity War. So I’m thinking the next film Hulk would redeem himself and give this nigga Thanos the hands. Of course he played a huge role because he brought half the universe back but by doing that he burnt the entire right side of his body which basically took him out the fight. I wished Hulk was out there. Especially during the 3 on 1 Thanos fight. Could you imagine it being 4 on 1?? Hulk, Tony, Thor, & Cap? That would’ve been filthy. I was sad Hulk didn’t get another shot at Thanos.
Fatman Thor. I loved this and hated this. From a comedic and acting standpoint I loved it but I wanted a in shape Thor in the final battle. Now Fatman Thor is still washing anybody on The Avengers. Thor at his best versus Thanos is delicious. The streets needed it.
Hulk could barely get the iron man suit glove on when trying to bring back half the universe but Tony takes the stones puts the glove on with ease and snaps his fingers with ease. That didn’t make sense at all. The Infinity Gauntlet had to be created on another planet with space technology to hold the power of the stones but Tony created gloves with regular technology that can hold the stones?
Captain Marvel’s haircut was trash. She’s about to name her son Jayden. It’s an evil world we live in.
I really didn’t dislike much in this movie. It was a very emotional film and full of humanity from all the heroes. I still liked Infinity War better but I have to watch Endgame some more to see if that will change. Infinity War grew on me the more I watched it. They really put their foot into this film and it was a great way to end a story. What Marvel Studios pulled off has never been done and they’re gearing up to do it again.
4 outta 5 fruit snacks
Peace
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