I TOLD YOU SO

Putting yourself out there is a challenge for most people. Some people do it without blinking but for a lot of people there’s so much weight to carry when taking a risk when creating something, building something, watering the seed that they feel will grow into their future and they can enjoy the fruits once it’s growth is complete. 

Some have to deal with overthinking and always being in their own head. Some have to deal with family and friends disapproval and not feeling any support from people they thought would be there for them. It’s a lot to take in when people you’ve known for years think you’ve lost your mind because you want to take a risk in controlling your life and not depending on someone else to determine how you live. Think about that. Imagine parents, siblings, Aunts and Uncles people that played a role in your growth and development as human being good or bad not supporting something you have faith in and it’s not harming any one of them. It’s some heavy shit to think about. 

A lot of people have anxiety and don’t know how to cope with it. Anxiety about failing their family or family reputation. Anxiety about not knowing where to begin. Anxiety about seeing failure before they begin and clouding their mind with “What if it doesn’t work?” Anxiety about looking crazy for believing in their talents on a level so deep that no one understands. Anxiety about not having money or just money in general. Some people start their creative journey or business without knowing how they’re going to pay their bills or find the money to invest in the things they need to start a business or start their artistry. Anxiety about people not buying in to what they’re selling or creating. That’s the thing about anxiety people don’t understand. It’s seeing the car crash in your mind before even getting into the car so it makes you hesitant to just drive to the store and if anxiety has its way you stay right where you are and nothing happens, you’re still sad, but at least you’re safe. Right? 

I’m far from a scientist but I think the thing that hurts creatives and future business owners the most is the fear of these 4 words… 

“I told you so.” 

When things aren’t going your way, you keep fucking up, or you not selling enough of what you made those 4 words haunt people. So instead of just staying calm, assessing their position, accepting what’s happening at the moment, adapting to the situation, their whole purpose switches from what made them start in the first place and they dedicate it to making sure those people don’t say those 4 words “I told you so” and they lose themselves because they start creating for someone who don’t believe in them. They’re no longer playing their game. They’re playing their doubters game. 

Remember when LeBron James first year on the Miami Heat? He was getting slandered for leaving and teaming up with D.Wade and Bosh. He was being called a coward. A terrible person for leaving the Cavaliers. LeBron then took the approach of being the “Bad Guy” he started to embrace the hate instead. Snarling at the crowd after every dunk. Playing with way more aggression. Driving to the hoop as if he’s trying to run through a brick wall. It backfired in the NBA Finals and the Dallas Mavericks handed LeBron a complete meltdown in the Finals. He played his doubters game. He let his non believers dictate how he should move and play and in the end he paid for it on the biggest stage in the NBA. 

When you hear those four words in your mind that should be a reminder for you to stay your course. Stay level headed. Emotions controlled. Foundation stable. Take controlled breaths and do what you feel like you’re put on this planet to do. Keep your mindset in a place as if you’re already what you’re striving to be. Let me give you an example of this. It’s a story. Last example I promise. 

There was this guy who was failing out of high school. Never took school seriously. Never really went to class. He made a promise to his mom that he would at least take the SAT his Junior year. He’s failing out of school so he doesn’t care what score he gets but he ended up getting a 1480 out of 1600 on the test. An amazing score. The results were so good that his mom didn’t believe it and asked him “Did you cheat?” He said no because he really didn’t. After the test he realized that he must be smarter than what he gave himself credit for so he said his senior year he will change.  He starts going to class, being more attentive, studying, doing all the work, he’s actually being a good student and getting good grades. Teachers start to treat him differently cause he’s actually participating and showing up to class. He graduates high school, goes to community college then goes to Wichita State and then goes to an Ivy League college and becomes this successful entrepreneur. 12 years later he gets a letter in the mail stating that there was an error on the SAT scores from his junior year and he was 1 of 13 people sent the wrong SAT score. The score he actually got was a 740 out of 1600. An awful score. Now people thought his life changed because of the 1480 score but what really changed was his mindset. He started BEHAVING like a student that got a 1480. Going to class. Studying. Going the extra mile. Not hanging with the wrong crowd. His behavior and mindset is what made the difference. That’s the power of your mindset. If you have talent and potential and you behave and have the mindset like a successful photographer, you increase the probability of becoming a successful photographer. 

Back to these 4 words a lot of you are afraid of. “I told you so.” 

If you take anything away from reading this I want this to be it. 

If you keep hearing “I told you so” after failure that means you’re working and you’re taking risk. Please give yourself that much. When shit fails it’s tough. All of the best fail. All of the best took L’s. It comes with life. When you hear “I told you so” or when people give off that energy without saying it that means you’re at least in the game. You’re on the court playing for something. It means you bet on yourself when the stakes were high. 

The people who can’t wait to tell you “I told you so” after you fail or when something doesn’t work just remember this…..

You’re ahead of them.

No matter what they own, you’re ahead of them. No matter what material things they have, you’re ahead of them. They have a house you have a small ass apartment you can barely afford. Trust me, you’re ahead of them. Look at it like this. How come they don’t have anything YOU can say “I told you so” to? There’s 4 reasons why they don’t have anything for you to say “I told you so” to. 

One, They’re perfect and everything they’ve done has been perfect. 

Two, they’ve settled for a life that society dictated for them instead of really pursuing what they really wanted. They’re not taking risks and they’re stuck.  

Three, They weren’t good enough in what they strived for so instead of supporting those who are striving and letting them learn from the mistakes they made they try to shelter them. Make them feel that the risk isn’t worth it. This is fueled by fear. 

Four, They’re just content with surviving instead of living and cannot comprehend the thought of someone betting on themselves and abilities to achieve their goals. 

It damn sure ain’t 1 cause ain’t nobody on this bitch perfect so it’s 2,3, or 4 or a combination of 2,3, and 4. 

You can twist it around and when you hear it you say “Nah I’m going to be the one that tells you I told you so when I achieve my goals.” You’re still playing your doubters game. 

The “YOU” in I told you so is for “YOU!” The only person you tell “I told you so” to is yourself. You’re in competition with yourself everyday to become better than you were yesterday. The only person you need to prove something to is YOU! All those things I said at the beginning of this post that made you hesitate before you began. All the uncomfortable moments you went through. All the self doubt. All the fear. When you finally reach your dreams and everything is okay and you’ve reached the top of your mountain just take a breath and tell yourself those four words “I told YOU so.” 

Peace 

Love, Benny 

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