A SKIN CARE ROUTINE FOR REAL N***AS

You’re probably wondering “Benny how do you get your skin to shine like like Teyana Taylor legs in the Kanye West “Fade” music video? It’s simple. I mind my business, I listen to a lot of D’Angelo, drink alkaline water from New Zealand and I follow a skin care routine. Legendary shit only.

A lot of men may think it’s feminine to care about your skin, taking bubble baths, and making sure your nails are in order but you gotta understand those same men never wash their durags so their opinion on anything isn’t worth much. My pillow cases smell like a utopia full of pineapples and mangoes. Their pillow cases smell like mustiness and dustiness. Skin care isn’t gender specific. This is health. Smarten up.

These niggas using Irish spring. How can you value the opinion of a man using Irish spring by choice? Irish Spring is a product of the unconfident and sauceless. If you hear a man trying to insult another man for taking care of his hygiene do not pay that nigga no mind. That’s a nigga that wears the same underwear for 2-3 business days straight and only purchases new underwear once a year.

Now it’s more than skin care routines that makes my skin prosper. I know yall don’t wanna hear this but what you eat and drink matters too. Dark liquor, sugar, fried foods, grease, and dairy will fuck your face up. You gotta eat clean too. Remember that. 

Here is my skin routine and how my skin shines like every black woman attending the soul train awards.

First thing I do is wake up and thank the O.G upstairs that I’m one of the prettiest black men walking the lord’s green earth. A single tear of joy comes down my cheek and I start stretching. Stretching is important. You gotta get your limbs feeling like money so you attract more success. Now you’re ready to bless your skin.

First you wanna cleanse. Start your day with a clean face. Cold water with a daily grape seed cleanser is what I use. Your face will feel like a clean white tee on a perfect spring day after you do this. 

Toner is what you apply next. This just gets extra dirt off your face, gives your face extra hydration, and restores your skin ph balance. Your skin is science. Toner will make your face feel like a cup of water at your favorite temperature. So for me it’s ice cold water at 3am after I randomly awaken from a nightmare where shorties do not compliment me on how good I smell. 

Next I add some serum to my future award winning skin. The serum takes a deeper dive in your skin and makes it smoother than a pair of black woman thighs you rubbing on while watching Jackie Brown like a real nigga. Get the Face serum by Camille Rose and watch your skin be smoother than Teddy Pendergrass voice underneath a silk durag. 

Now it’s time for moisturizer. Gotta keep dryness and oiliness away. Mele Nourishing cream is a go-to for me. Put it on your face and neck and feel the breeze. You can’t have your skin dry like Spongebob visiting Sandy crib without a helmet. That’s bad business. You got some dudes out here putting body lotion on their face. If you’re putting body lotion on your face I’m going to assume you still eat spaghetti-o’s as an adult. You’re being gross. You’re too old to be doing that shit. Get you some moisturizer dawg.

If you’re going out in the sun and hot weather apply that sunscreen. I know you may think you don’t need it cause you black but that’s a lie my G. You gotta make sure your skin is protected from the ultra light beams. Sunscreen will improve your “black don’t crack superpowers” by 9000 points. Go grab some black girl sunscreen and shine like a baddie you feel me? 

So now it’s night time. You had a good night. You had an even better night if it ended with lemonade mimosas and a titty in your mouth but now you gotta tap into your night routine. 

First you gotta oil cleanse or cleanse. Oil cleanse if you wore sunscreen. If you didn’t wear sunscreen you don’t have to oil cleanse, you can just do a regular cleanse. 

It's exfoliating time. Grab some M3 Superfood Scrub. That shit will put your skin in a time travel machine. Straight have you like Benjamin Button in the streets. You’re gonna look 13. You aging backwards. Exfoliating removes dead skin cells because your skin naturally sheds dead skin cells to make room for new skin cells. You won’t have many breakouts if you exfoliate regularly. Exfoliating is what maintains the glow. Exfoliate and forget about your ex. Shed dead skin cells and dead weight my G. 

I use the toner again and it has me feeling good like Tony Toni Tone. 

It’s face mask time. It’s time to get cozy, light organic candles and play the first Maxwell album or 70’s soul music. Don’t do a face mask every day though. 1-3 times a week is the key. It’s literally the cherry on top of skin care for me. It firms my skin and increases hydration. The charcoal detox mask by Buttah is what I run with. 

I add the serum and moisturize after the face mask. Apply my silk bonnet and I dream about titties. Good night! 

SOUND THE ALARMS! BONUS ROUND! BONUS ROUND!

Here are some more tips before you go.

Baths are important. If you always on the go at least take 1 bath a week. Showers are great but having your skin submerged in water is very vital. Just soak in the epson salt bath with the lavender for 30 minutes and watch how different your skin and body will feel after you get out. You’re gonna feel like a cloud.

Water intake is important for your skin and body. All you need is a lime, a lemon, and a cucumber in your water. All the extra shit not needed. Your water doesn’t have to be a fruit salad. You will use the bathroom more than normal when you drink water with lemon and lime in it but that’s because you’re flushing out your system. If your urine is always yellow that means your body is dehydrated. Thats not good. If your urine is clear that means your body is hydrated. Whenever you eat bread that’s when you’ll notice your urine is yellow because the bread is absorbing hydration but if you eat a salad with lemon and lime water your urine will be clearer.

Be gentle with your face when you’re applying the products and washing your face. Don’t wash your super rough. Wash up. Not down. Never use your face cloths on your body. Loofas are for your body. Your face cloth is for your face only. I can’t trust nobody who wash they ass and face with the same cloth.

If you’re new to skin care it’s going to take a lot of experimenting to find the right products that work for your skin. It’s not about the brand. It’s about what the product does to your skin. Black skin is different. We have skin of royalty to you can’t just play your skin like it’s regular. A million is half price when it comes to your skin, that’s how valuable it is.

Peace