10 THINGS MY PEOPLE NEED TO LET GO OF

And by people I mean “Niggas”

I’m gonna keep this short. There’s things my community gotta let go of. It’s time. The grip these things have on my community is sad and shit is getting outta hand and things have gone too far. 

POPEYES 

Nigga this place is mid. No matter how you slice it, it’s mid. Even when the food hot and actually served correctly it’s just okay. When I was in college yes Popeyes was hitting but it ain’t no more. Let it go. The last time Popeyes got my order right and the meal was actually good was when Jada Pinkett was fucking that hairy booty nigga in Jason’s Lyric. 

HENNESSY 

You niggas are not paying for the alcohol. You’re paying for the brand. A lot of us are guilty for shit like that. It’s just not that good. Remy is better. Dusse is better. Hell Johnnie Walker is better. Henny is definitely not good to the point where you niggas are mixing it with everything. Henny infused chicken, Henny infused cupcakes. Henny infused BBL’s. I’m sure some shorty has Henny in her fake ass right now. 

CAN WE TALK BY TEVIN CAMPBELL

It’s a shame it’s come to this because this is actually a good song but you niggas have ran this shit into the ground as your brunch national anthem. There are other fire ass 90’s R&B songs but you niggas insist that you’re old souls by lip singing this to your friend with crusted powdered sugar on the corner of your lips. How yall make a Babyface written gem so lame? 

SUMMER 

Maannnn summer was cool when we ain’t have bills. Let’s keep it a buck. Only Fall and Spring matter. Summer ain’t really bout shit. The only niggas that be excited bout summer is the people who were sheltered kids or went to an all white school so they’re trying to relive their teenage years that they feel like they’ve lost or niggas who already don’t take care of their responsibilities. Niggas don’t even be throwing legit pool parties no more.. Yall don’t get into the water anyway. Let the summer go. 

CLUBS 

Clubs are ass. All of them. DJ’s trash and playing the same shit from a rotation of the same 5 artists. Nobody dance no more. I never thought I would see a dance floor where people just standing on it and trying to get through and by people all night. Nobody is dancing. All the clubs look the same. No matter where you go or what city you in. All these clubs have the same menu. Nigga can we get some different type of wings? Please? Honey Hot and Lemon Pepper are not the only flavors in the world. It don’t matter what city I’m in. The club is the same and the DJ’s are the same. You’re better off going to kickbacks with multiple people taking turns on the aux cord. 

MCFLURRY 

Why in the fuck are y’all always complaining bout the McFlurry machine being broke?? McFlurries stink. Niggas complaining that they can’t eat Ass-Cream. The one thing that McDonalds does right is make sure that machine stays broke like a baby daddy so they can’t feed y’all that mid ass ice cream. Let it go. 

REALITY TV 

This shit cripples my community. If majority of what you watch is reality tv and you are anticipating week by week episodes you have a mental illness. Get help nigga. The shit not even entertaining. It just promotes how to be miserable. It’s the same shit no matter what show it is. It’s a circle of gossiping ass bitches that don’t have the awareness to know that there are billions of other people to be friends with on Earth & yet you weirdos are still speaking to each other. Who in the fuck has multiple lunches & dinners to gossip or mend fake friendships? Every activity these niggas do they gossiping. These niggas on the beach wind sailing in the sky above a beautiful ocean talking bout a bitch they don’t get along with. Niggas on vacation talking bout what happened at a soon to be failing boutique opening while looking at clear Bahamas water. It makes zero sense. Then you have weirdos who watch it giving the play by play on the internet as if it was a Lakers game. What the fuck is wrong with yall? If the reality show not bout food or niggas building houses that shit is terrible. 

MICHAEL B JORDAN 

Am I missing something here? Is this the last nigga on earth or something? There isn’t another okay actor you niggas can find? Why is this the first nigga brought up when it pertains to any role being black? Niggas just put this nigga in any and every role. For example “Hey we’re about to do a movie on Drew Barrymores life Who’s available? I think Michael B Jordan is available he’d be great as Drew Barrymore.” Don’t be surprised when he plays John F Kennedy or Liu Kang nigga. 

RANCH 

Ranch is a bottom tier condiment and I need all my niggas to understand this. Ranch is the Dasani of condiments. BBQ is better. Hot sauce is better. Honey Mustard is better. Ketchup is better. Blue Cheese is better. Ranch taste like how white women age. Now I will say Ranch made from scratch at restaurants is decent but the shit yall have in yall fridge at home is terrible. Why are yall trying to put ranch on my fries? It’s bad enough it’s cheese on em but you wanna add ranch too? The people who put ranch on everything will steal from you. I have no doubt in my mind. 

HOOKAH 

I’ve never had fun at any establishment where hookah was available. That’s not a coincidence. Adam and Eve didn’t eat the forbidden fruit. They did hookah in the garden of eden and that’s why evil exists. Why are you filming yourself doing hookah? That’s like filming yourself eating beans. You niggas are filming yourself smoking pomegranate reggie on instagram. No one has ever invited me to do hookah because they know I would beat they ass for trying me. Hookah is a Michael B Jordan activity. 

Peace 

Benny 

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