YOU GLOW DIFFERENT WHEN ....
You too late, I don’t know everything. I’m just here to be a student forever. Here’s my opinion on how you know when you’re glowing differently.
ATTACH TO SELF
First thing you have to do is attach to yourself in a way people won’t mind their business about you. When you securely attach to yourself you are fully aware of your feelings and what you want and can’t nobody can tell you differently. Have you ever had a weird bitch ass person tell you how you should feel even though the feelings you already have are valid?
I fuck up a lot. I fuck up everyday. Knowing those facts I make it a priority to be very flexible with myself. If I mess up at work or something I create doesn’t come out the way I envisioned, I’ve made it a habit to keep it real with myself on why it didn’t go in my favor and support myself. Support support support is very key. I support myself first before I give a fuck about who supports me. I practice real nigga compassion.
LISTEN TO EMOTIONS
I listen to a lot of Tems and a lot of Peezy but what I listen to the most is my emotions. Emotions matter and it’s all about how you listen to your emotions. It’s one thing to listen to music just to hear it. It’s another thing to listen to music and understand the lyrics and the feelings artists are expressing. Emotions work the same way. If I just act on my emotions without listening to them, disaster usually follows. When I actually listen to my emotions and the message my emotions are trying to give me, I have a better understanding of myself
Don’t act on your emotion immediately when you experience it. Stay with it. Your emotions are bad bitches. Different bad bitches. You don’t wanna leave baddies do you? Of course not. Baddies have a great time. You treat each different emotion with care and cater to that emotion's needs. Your emotions help you navigate through life. Listen to the directions emotions provide and get to your destination safely.
IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ALIVE, DO IT
Here is a list of what makes me feel alive.
Food
Black women
Traveling
Creating things
Going to home goods or target
Expensive candles
YouTube rabbit holes
Watching hateful lose at life
Shutting the fuck up
Anime
Exfoliating
Dancing drunk off champagne
Weed
The left titty
Real ones gotta live by 3 words. Go, Say, Try.
Go is self explanatory. If I wanna go to Costa Rica just to give booty rubs on the beach I’m going. If there’s a restaurant I wanna try, I’m going. I will go places that will bring fun out of life.
Say is about the power of words. I’ve written this blog post you’re reading. I’m sharing something with you. I pray to help you or make your day. Next I’ll say something that I fear or say something that’s vulnerable. Say something to someone that makes them smile, like giving them their flowers. Telling people the truth. Sharing my feelings. I know I said shutting the fuck up makes me happy and I love sitting in silence but speaking when necessary is always my vibe.
Try. Try shit. Creatively take chances. Try new things. It makes your creativity better. Try food you have never tried before. Try things that take you out of your comfort zone. Trying is inspirational.
SEEK YOUR OWN VALIDATION
Nothing will make you more anxious than seeking validation from outside of your body. One thing I’m not gonna do is rely on the next person to make me feel good about myself. Nigga, I love me some me. I don’t need no one to call me handsome cause I KNOW and BELIEVE that I’m handsome before anyone tells me. When people actually do make me feel good about myself it’s already too late like I always say. I appreciate it but I’ve already been there and done that even on my bad days. I’m not out here seeking approval on the internet. I got needs I need met and I’m responsible for those needs being met so I’m not about to fuck around with putting time in thinking about other people opinions. I’m not writing what you’re reading now for anybody's approval. I’m writing to help whoever it finds and to put my feelings out into the world as God blessed me to.
Validation comes down to feelings. People should have a safe space to feel the feelings they have. There shouldn’t be any judgment on valid feelings. When you give yourself validation before anyone else gives you validation you already know your feelings matter and can’t no one manipulate you in thinking any different. You’re not crazy to feel how you feel. You’re normal.
Whatever you pursue in life just know if you’re working on it daily you’re making progress. You don’t need me to tell you that. I’m just the cherry on top. You’re doing a good job regardless. You’re gonna make mistakes regardless. As long as you have the confidence to know you don’t need validation outside of yourself and how you feel about yourself is the top priority.
WHEN YOU UNDERSTAND YOUR HEALING
We’re all healing from something. We all have a place we’re at in our healing. You glow different when you understand that you have to be patient with your healing. It’s a process. You have to allow yourself grace to gain insight, gain understanding and knowledge. You ever fumble a baddie? Nigga I did and I was sick. I ain't leave my house for 2 straight weeks. I aint eat nothing but chips and depression. Once I understood that I had to keep living life I became more persistent with my healing. I did activities even though I was not okay. I prioritize self care. I understood I was going to fall during my healing and that there would be setbacks.
I had to understand for my healing, processing my past and asking for help would be my biggest obstacles. I’m a solo kinda guy. So when I’m going through pain I fall back and handle it on my own. I don’t ask for help. Whether I'm doing good or bad, nobody knows. It’s not a healthy way to live but my social anxiety plays a role in it. I just take my losses and go into solitude and get over them on my own. Do not do what I do. Healing and isolation do not mix.
Understand how you need to heal. Take the steps. And you’ll glow like perfectly cooked hot wings.
Love, Benny
