STOP ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Our lives have some sort of routine to it everyday. We wake up in the morning. We get ready for the day. We go where we need to go. School, work, gym, stores, wherever. We come back to our homes and we do what we want to do or what we need to do. We never ask ourselves for permission to do any of those things. We just do them. Why? It’s because a lot of our lives are lived on autopilot. You don’t think about it. You just do it with no second thought. No permission is needed.
We don’t do the same with our gifts or talent. We wait and wait and wait. After we finally stop waiting we have an inner monologue with ourselves where we are fighting against uncertainty and insecurity. After the inner monologue is finished then we ask strangers on the internet what we should do or what they would prefer us to do. Once the votes or survey of public opinion is complete we then release our creation to the world.
Why do we act as if we need a permission slip signed to share our creativity with the world? Why are we asking anybody what they think about it before we show the world? Why do we value the opinions of strangers? It’s not about what strangers prefer. It’s about what you prefer and what brings you joy. You shouldn’t give a fuck about how anybody feels about what you create. When I think of this I think of Andre 3000.
Andre 3000 is highly regarded as one of the greatest rappers in our lifetime. Outkast is the second best rap group I ever heard in my life (I have Wu-Tang Clan as number 1). Andre 3000 has been rapping for 30 years of his life. You would think the average person would think “Wow that’s longevity” and leave him the fuck alone and let him do what he wants to do but that is not the case.
It was announced that Andre 3000 would be releasing a solo album but when people discovered that it wasn’t a solo rap album they criticized him heavily. Andre has never released a solo rap album. The Love Below wasn’t rap but it is a classic in my eyes and one of the greatest albums I ever heard. Andre has rapped on features for the past 15-18 years but never released a solo rap album so naturally fans are fiending for him to release a solo rap album. Andre said fuck all of that I’m releasing a flute album for you mindless mothafuckas to meditate to. Andre did not wait for permission to do what he desired. He didn’t ask fans what they thought about him releasing a flute album. He only cared about what gave him creative freedom and what brought him joy. He just did what he felt was purposeful in his life and didn’t care about critics.
Could you imagine if Andre sent out a survey to fans asking “Should I release a rap album or a flute album?” Could you imagine Andre 3000 asking that question despite not wanting to rap at all and play the flute instead? I’m happy he didn’t listen to the public. If he did listen then that would mean he would’ve forced a rap album and if he forced it, regardless if it would’ve been good or not it’s possible he would’ve sacrificed his happiness and his sanity to please strangers.It’s not your job to please people on the internet. It’s your job to please yourself and align yourself with things that don’t compromise your mental and physical health. Andre 3000 didn’t ask for permission and neither should you. You don’t need to ask permission to start a business, get healthy, cleanse, start a new hobby, asking for permission is just another road block you’re placing in front of yourself.
When you keep asking for public opinion it will not be long before you become a slave to public opinion. You will find yourself questioning yourself more than usual and when you start questioning yourself more than usual you become hesitant. When you’re hesitant that can lead to you not wanting to create anything and self doubt finds a home within you. Once self doubt sets in that’s when you start looking around at everyone else and what they’re doing. You start focusing on what everyone else has and what you don’t have. You start focusing on why you’re not successful or why it feels this person or that person is farther along in their career. You start relying on expectations and relying on expectations is a recipe for disaster because all that will do is give you more anxiety, you’ll get easily frustrated, and any piece of disappointment will destroy you. The more you rely on expectations the more distorted your reality becomes. Once that happens it’s not long before you quit. All this happens because you asked permission from people who weren't in the gym with you. Who wasn’t in the trenches with you. Who didn’t help put in the work with you.
What happens if you ask the public for permission or approval to release something you created and they say “No, don't do that.” Are you going to honor their response or are you going to release what you worked hard on? I doubt that you would pack it up and not release anything so it’s time to stop asking for permission.
There’s some things I just will never ask for permission for.
Happiness
Creativity
Love
Being Myself
How I learned to not ask for permission for the things I listed is by being in love with the process of each one of them. When I focused on the process I didn’t have any time to give any external thoughts or feelings any power or say so in my life. I was locked in on what I felt was good for me and my life. When I think of permission I think of essentially asking people for legitimacy in my own life. It doesn’t make sense to me.
When you’re not focusing on the end goal or your desires you get fulfillment from what you create. You realize the meaning of why you do what you do. When you find meaning in your work you find more compassion for mistakes you may make while doing the work. You will give yourself more empathy. You appreciate everything you already have and you appreciate the missteps you make in life.
Your creative outlets and how you express them should come as normal as breathing. To ask for permission to express your creativity is the same as suffocating yourself. Breathe and walk into what’s for you and no one else.
Love, Benny
