RECAP: INSECURE EP 6 "GUILTY AS FUCK"

New Sunday. New President. I'm just gonna grab a economy sized box of fruit snacks from Costco and watch Issa burn this episode ....... along with America. 

Hey, at least they can't blame a black man for it. Wow the black man looks like the hero in Insecure and America. We're on a win streak my niggas! REJOICE while we can because we'll go back to being "ain't shit" any day now I'm sure. 

Aight. Lets do this guys and gals. 

FIRST THE WALK THEN THE DRIVE OF SHAME

After fucking her ex Daniel. A nigga with the strongest jawline in America. Seriously that nigga jaw line can probably crush bricks. Daniel jawline stronger than a shot of Everclear. Issa soul is feeling as dusty as her Chevrolet pulling up to her apartment on this guilty L.A night. 

I really thought Lawrence hit her in that confession sequence. I usually don't fall for tricks like that but the writers got me I admit. I was like "OH SHIT HE HIT THAT BITCH!" Shaded Russell Wilson in the process too.

I don't call women bitches. I'm a gentleman but when I get shocked the word "bitch" just jumps out my mouth like I have Tourettes. For example a couple weeks ago at a bar I seen a white girl fall off a chair and I shouted "OH SHIT THAT BITCH FELL!" She laughed at what I said and tried to flirt with me. She looked older than what she told me so it was a no go. I can't have a woman aging like a banana. Okay back to the episode. 

Issa proceeds not to tell Lawrence which hurt my soul. This dude is actually one of the good guys. He got the broken pussy video removed, picked up her dry cleaning, passed up on titties and margaritas. Lawrence has looked like the second coming of Jesus the past 2 episodes. Now he can't get no pussy from his own girl cause she fresh off of fucking a nigga with a jawline as durable as a steel toe boot in a recording studio. Poor Lawrence. 

PUT YOUR WOMAN IN THE KITCHEN 

For me the moral of the episode wasn't about guilt or honesty. The moral of the episode was if you give your girl some bomb dick she becomes Julia Child in the kitchen. Issa got some dick and she cooking Lawrence a breakfast so damn big you'd think that nigga was on death row and set to be executed tomorrow. Last meal type shit. 

Molly was basically fucking like she took some Molly this episode. After sleeping drunk on Jared's couch and eating some dry ass Cookie Crisp, Jared gave her that "No Errands Penis." No Banks, Pharmacies, DMV, Grocery Store, Post Office, for you. None of that. Next day, Molly attempting to cook gourmet meals and shit and taking back shots while preparing the meal. She was on one. 

Definitely wrote this lesson in my handy dandy notebook. I slang stellar dick. I get stellar meals. 

HONESTY IS NEVER BRUTAL

After a quickie, Molly and Jared finally eat and start confessing crazy shit they did when they were younger. Jared admits that he got head from another man and Molly's pussy immediately went from Tsunami to chapped lips in the winter. She couldn't believe what she heard. 

Do I think Jared did the right thing by telling the truth? Yes. Do I think Molly is wrong for reacting how she reacted? No. Molly isn't really the most mentally/emotionally strong or stable person. So her reaction is something I expected. 

It takes a strong person mentally to get over what Jared confessed to. Molly is not that person. She's very black and white, stuck in her standards, and has her idea of a perfect man embedded in her brain. She judges EVERYTHING. She's a slightly more toned down version of her sorror (Amanda Diva). Her reasoning of joining the league shows us that. She's not looking for someone who's happiness matches her happiness. She's looking for a prototype which is where she keeps fucking up at.

Jared was her exception but his confession may have killed what could've been a great relationship. Once a woman stops enjoying oral sex because it looks like you're sucking a dick, it's a wrap bruh. 

JESUS DABS

Aye that play Issa and Molly went to had me dying. Mainly because they was playing wade in the water on that flute and that old lady had that big ass red "Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego" church crown. Extra as fuck. 

LIVING WITH GUILT 

Issa is falling apart which is well deserved in my opinion since she's being dishonest. I don't personally care about cheating but don't keep it from me. Sometimes I would get so fed up with my ex's I'd pray they'd cheat on me so I can have the crib to myself and watch a movie without answering their 5768 questions about what's going on in the movie which I've never seen before also. 

Just tell me you cheated and allow me a hall pass to fuck one woman and we good. I don't care about the act I just trip off the lying. I'm weird like that. 

Issa crying more than America on election night. She's not herself. Daniel is continuously texting her and she's ignoring him which is wrong. She should tell him it's over and delete his number instead of ignoring his text. This nigga is persistent and popped up at your job you think he won't do that again? Issa pouring gasoline on the fire by ignoring him and not being upfront. It's just leading to more madness. Her inability to be upfront has been kicking her ass all season. 

Lawrence life seems like it's turning around and he's gaining more confidence. New possible job on the horizon. Issa sees what a good man she has and it's making her feel worse. The ring scene was some sad shit. Obviously after talking about marriage with his homie in Roscoe's, Lawrence wants to take that plunge. He planned that whole scenario and Issa's guilt ruined everything.

I just feel so sorry for this nigga. He can't ever get a clear cut win. Something either has to go wrong with his job or his woman. Lawrence is a walking, talking, "Nice guys finish last." I told you he should've got them strawberry margaritas and let Tasha sit on his face like a normal ass nigga. 

Issa finally lets out the secret to Molly and she's relieved sort of. Molly obviously is not friends with "Honesty" at the moment and tells Issa to never tell Lawrence and just move on. Issa takes Molly's advice and proceeds to go home and fuck Lawrence so good that you think her credit score depended on it. 

Lawrence fresh off finally getting some ass but you knew that "L" was coming. Lawrence just racks up "L's." He accidentally finds Issa's phone and a message from Daniel crimson chin head ass and takes a buck nakey walk of shame to the bathroom. I bet you he dreaming about Tasha titties now. 

What an episode. Ladies and Gentlemen. What an episode!