VALENTINES DAY WITH ZODIACS

I don’t do Valentines Day. But for anybody who does….. here you go. 

ARIES 

Take these niggas out. Single they’re OUT! Taken they’re OUT. You gotta pull out all the stops. Aries are all about the extra mile. They like shit with a lot of thrills in it. Niggas fuck around and bungee jump, get into a high speed, perform a concert, and eat ass all in a span of 3 hours and still want a dinner date after. Niggas go on 8 dates in one night. 

TAURUS 

These niggas bougie. Buy them some expensive shit like Ivy Park or a shopping spree and some expensive food and some expensive ass self care shit for their body and hair and a spa day. Don’t do no from the heart shit with these niggas. From the heart shit translate to cheap ass bitch to them. They don’t give a fuck bout sentimental shit. If you ain’t spending the guap that pussy won’t pop. These niggas act like rich housewives and are mentally unstable like them too. 

GEMINI 

Nobody gives a fuck about them. Take them to a Quiktrip or some shit and be done with it. Except my homies Marty and Adrian. Those my Gemini niggas. Show them niggas some titties. 

CANCER 

Go Traditional with Cancers. Home cook meal of their favorite food, good convo, movie and flowers. They’ll think you’re Jesus and give their self loathing a rest for the night.

LEO 

All ego. Whatever gives them the most attention. Do that shit with them. Give them gifts first and then go somewhere with Dancing and Karaoke involved. They need to be seen.

VIRGO 

If you haven’t given a Virgo a gift for 2 straight weeks before Valentines Day then they will be unimpressed. Put their name on a blimp like and have the whole day planned since last year and they MIGHT fuck with you. 

LIBRA 

These niggas will grab any random fucking date at the last minute cause they couldn’t decide who on who they want to annoy. If you on Tinder they’ll be contacting you soon or if you haven’t spoke to them in months and years they’ll be calling you soon. Just go with the flow and enjoy the sex. 

SCORPIO 

I’m one of these and I’ll tell you what to do. Absolutely nothing. We don’t give a fuck. For example I’m going to the studio. Shit gotta get done. Money gotta get made. 

SAGITTARIUS 

These niggas random. Do anything random and they wit it. They will do anything adventurous. Do something outside if the weather cool where you live at. If not take a road trip with one to where it’s nice. 

CAPRICORN 

They not really into Valentines Day. Just show them that you’re committed and they’re good. 

AQUARIUS 

These niggas are so easily impressed it’s sad. Especially if you’re a creative mothafucka. They’ll think you’re Steve Jobs if you do anything remotely creative even if it’s bare minimum. So if you introduce them to something different you’ll get the best mouth on the planet that night. So whatever you know they’ve done for Valentines Day in the past do something better and do something they’re not used to but still in the realm of what they would like. 

PISCES 

Take these niggas to the park or be around nature and water and recite poetry to em. They some Love Jones ass niggas. They romantic and sensitive as fuck. 

Peace 

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