THOUGHTS DURING THE RONA
My thoughts during The Rona. So far.
First of all you niggas not doing shit so I know you reading this. If you wanna tip me my cash app is $BenjaminGreenheart
I haven’t been bored since being quarantined. Remember Bane telling Batman that he born in the dark and molded by the dark? Nigga that’s me. I was born and built for this shit. I’m only outside for business and combination plates my nigga. I hate driving more than a mile so I’m always inside working. Ain’t shit ever been outside for me but bitches begging and niggas with audacity.
People wanna be outside so bad just for them to not say nothing to anybody in public. Same person hit you with that “I think I saw you” DM. Yeah you did and thanks for verifying that you’re a lame. A creepy ass lame. Stay your ass inside after this is all over for the greater good of society.
Why is everyone going live on Instagram? Bitch you’re boring.
I’m tired of you hoes going to my grocery store because your bitch ass store ran out of shit. Stay the fuck away from my shit. Why is niggas buying MY organic juice. I know there’s a none wavy nigga responsible for buying all the Organic Pineapple Ginger Juice and I’m willing to bet they just bought it because it was there. Why the fuck you wanna try something different now? All the Simply Raspberry Lemonade gone. Keep your poverty head asses in Walmart and Target. Yall buy up all the healthy shit but then buy a 24 case of Dasani aka Battery acid which cancels out all the healthy shit you just bought which means you just wasted MY SHIT! Niggas was buying my lemongrass tea. All these years yall was drinking those nasty ass Green teas out the bottle but now you like Lemongrass? I buy that shit for my skin. You think I got my skin looking like Marvin Gaye’s voice eating and drinking like you niggas? Never! Niggas faces looking like North Grand and they trying to eat and drink my shit. You stuck buck. It’s too late. You think I’m the most handsomest nigga by default? No nigga I worked like a single Jamaican parent to look this ravishing. YES I’M MAD!
To all the shorties reading this….life is short. Start an OnlyFans. If you gone be naked only start if you have sex appeal. A lot of shorties be pretty but have the sex appeal of Jennifer Lawrence. Start an Only Fans for regular shit too. Like none nekkid activities. I support talented shit regardless. And titties.
The amount of bird niggas and pick me niggas are at an all time high during this quarantine shit. I just seen a nigga say he’d nut in shorty, eat her out and suck his own nut back out…. All that pick me shit just for shorty to tell you to “Have fun” when you come to her city. Life is good I guess. Even prude bitches trying to talk nasty… we don’t believe you sis…. scadaddle. Take your terrible home cooked meals with you and go read think pieces on celebrity bullshit.
Please do not start a rap career. We are good.
I love seeing people snap under lockdown. Niggas looking like Ace crying to Rico on Paid N Full. Ol “My body different” ass niggas. Once I started getting tagged to take shots on Instagram on Day 2 that’s when I knew niggas lost their fucking minds. People was acting weak as fuck before when I offered em shots OUTSIDE but now you wanna get active during a pandemic? Go drink your Sutter Home and leave me the fuck alone.
At this point in my life I am perfectly fine with never hearing a Megan Thee Stallion song ever again. Unless she is bucky nakey I don’t give a fuck. No bikini, no boy shorts, I’m talking straight put ya pussy lips on live nekkid. She’s really nice but that song on those challenges that got people doing those white girl middle school cheerleader dance routines is so fucking terrible my nigga and I’m tired of hearing it. I wanna rip my ear off like that scene in Reservoir Dogs. Don’t talk to me until the nudes leak.
No matter how bad this gets I’ll never listen to Goldlink.
Niggas can’t live without Brunch apparently. Someone tell Chelsea Boot instagram and twitter to calm the fuck down. You’ll have your chance to say “Sheesh” to women you’ll never fuck soon my niggas.
I knew niggas was nasty but you niggas nastier than a project elevator in Brownsville, New York. You niggas was touching public bathroom toilet handles? I dodge public restrooms like my exes. I already don’t let people touch me before this pandemic shit but now I don’t even want you dirt ball niggas breathing the same air as me either. Hold your breath in my presence from now on. I don’t want your breath on my fits.
These fake entrepreneur niggas talked all this shit about hard work and being focused and now they have all the time in the world and now these niggas bored. Go build a Fortune 500 company nigga. You got the same 24 hours nigga. Team no sleep nigga. Go take another worthless irrelevant photo with a coffee mug with some goofy ass affirmation on it and your MacBook Air. You got time. They should’ve never gave you niggas LLC’s. Nigga get a LLC and start talking like Daymond John. Learning words like “Equity and Liquid” and think they’re Gordon Gekko. Nigga a LLC cost $50-70… you not doing anything special dawg. Anybody can buy one. You sold some family reunion Gildan tees with a shitty logo on it my nigga. Let’s pump the brakes. The economy will be just fine without you my nigga.
I’ve watched an absurd amount of anime and I am not stopping. I’m getting paid to do it so it makes it even better.
I seen a Drive thru hookah on Twitter. I need this pandemic to do it’s job and end all of us because clearly we’re mocking God and taken our time on this planet for granted. If you’re smoking hookah during times like this I just know your bed stink and you sniff your clothes to determine if you can go another day without showering.
PreachPerfect Boots is responsible for this Pandemic. Just think back when you first seen the monstrosity that is Preach Boots. Shit got bad. Real bad. He tried to erase the photo of the boots but the damage was already done. He unleashed a monster. The boots can take human form like “The Thing” or “El Cuco” from The Outsider so it’s possibly walking among us. We must come together and defeat this evil. Kiss your loved ones. Hug them tight. We shall overcome.
Peace
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