UNDERSTANDING DETACHMENT

I think it’s funny how in this month of July alone I’ve been in the streets 2 to 3 times every week drunk, dancing, and talking more than I ever do. I’m exhausted as fuck but I’m having the time of my life. I’m really proud of myself. Not because I haven’t thrown up or passed out off liquor. It’s because I was having human interaction and for once it wasn’t bothering me. 

Here’s the thing though. Detachment is bout to make a comeback. It’s about to be as consistent as a 21 Savage feature. I feel it coming. Detachment from humans is making it’s way back into my life and honestly I do not know if that’s good or bad. 

I don’t really like humans. If it involves people I’m likely to say fuck it and go in my backyard and smoke a doobie instead. I loathe people and social gatherings. Me being outside is PURELY my ego and throwing on a fit. I need weed and alcohol to get through social gatherings. I’m friendly as fuck in person cause I drank 5 shots worth of tequila and took more shots at the function. If I go to social gatherings sober I wouldn’t last 3 minutes. I only like talking to people I trust and even that is hard for me. 

Thinking about all the times I was in the streets this month has me thinking about if detachment is good or bad? 

Detachment only gets bad for me when I detach not only from people but from my emotions and things I love. Like on some Earl Sweatshirt I don’t like shit I don’t go outside type shit. So if I detach from writing or reading then I’m probably not in the best spirits and I’m likely binging anime and not giving a fuck about nothing. Just eating whatever and smoking. Not exercising. Basically just existing. Remember the movie “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” and Pete got dumped and he was just in his crib just eating big ass bowls of cereal and wearing the same sweatpants and t shirt. Yeah that’s me. Shit can get like that for me sometimes. 

If I see an event where people I know and love will be at and I just don’t care to go that’s normal. It’s just 1 or 2 events but if it’s constantly happening then I’m in full detachment mode. 

I usually detach cause I get sick of people bullshit. I’m not a guy that can deal with fake shit or putting on a mask to greet everybody and deal with gauntlets of small talk cause that’s what social life is. I detach from everything to avoid that shit. I see that nobody really has a personality and everybody is lame. Everyone left their personalities online. Shit really get sad when I expect people to be funny in real life and they’re not. Like damn bitch you lied to me. Everybody so outspoken on the internet but so timid in person it’s weird. 

A part of me used to think that everybody don’t know how to kick it anymore cause times changed. Everybody more focused on capturing the moment instead of living in it. Last week people were just in awe of how turnt I was dancing and having a good time. I ain’t pull my phone out until I danced for at least 5 songs but I didn’t understand why people were impressed. I’m not doing anything special. Fuck that, get out here and tee up. I ain’t come here to take more than 3 photos. I came out the house to turn up. I’m here now. Wassup? If yall act like this I should’ve stayed at home, detached. 

The good thing about detaching from people and socializing all together is that were allowing everybody to live their life. I’m embracing my individuality when I detach from everything. I’m not apart of a herd mentality. I’m not giving my opinion on anything. I’m not receiving any opinions. You can’t sway me and I can’t sway you. I avoid negative connections and negative thinking when I detach. Detachment is me putting boundaries between me and all the noise of the world. My intentions are clear. My actions are more deliberate. There isn’t anything influencing me but the space I’m in and what I choose to see. 

I used to think I was broken because I wanted to detach from everyone and everything but I learned that isolation is where I learn the most about myself. It’s where I get a lot of great ideas. Where I experience personal growth. 

What I’m learning about detachment though is that it’s not just people you detach from. I’m learning to detach myself from the outcome of what create. Detach myself from the fear of missing out. Detach myself from perfectionism. Detach from social status. Detach from my addictions. Detach from money. Detaching has helped me reflect more. Reflect on the good I’ve done. The bad I’ve done. Given myself the confidence to ask myself “What can I do to be a better human being?”  

You’re not crazy for not wanting nor caring for human interaction. It’s only a problem if you don’t like who you are along with not interacting with people. Just practice detachment when it’s required and you will be more than okay in life. 

There’s good and bad in everything. Detachment isn’t excluded from that. Understand that joy is internal. Confidence is internal. Detachment and spending time with myself is understanding that we all need a part of who we are to be independent from everything else in life.  

Peace 

Benny

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